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IN DEFENSE OF NON-HIJABI SISTERS
by Samana Siddiqui
It had been ten years since she had set foot in a mosque. Being at university
had broadened her mind in many ways, one of them being her reconnecting
with Islam.
She had begun praying five times a day a month ago, and now felt ready
to pray in public, at the university's Juma prayer.
She paused and stood a few feet away from the women's entrance. Taking
a deep breath, she pulled the silk scarf out of her purse and tied it
carefully on her head. Her ponytail stuck out a bit. She smoothed the
creases on her long-sleeved beige shirt and tugged at the bottom of it
to make it longer over her pants.
The prayer was great. She had never felt this sense of inner peace.
Afterwards, she tried mingling with the sisters, but nobody even looked
her way. A few of them even pretended not to hear her greeting. The only
sister who did talk to her said in a huff: “You know your prayer
is not accepted in those pants and that tiny thing you pass for a Hijab.
I suggest you get more Islamic knowledge and dress properly before coming
back here.”
The words stung her like a million bumble bees. Too numb to respond or
speak, she charged out of the hall. Never again would she associate with
these people, she told herself.
And never again would she return to Juma.
*******************
Are you shocked reading about this incident? Don't be. It has been a reality
in almost every Muslim community in North America.
This harsh judgment and intolerance shown towards Muslim women who do
not wear Hijab can lead to at least some Muslim women to become alienated
from the Muslim community, and could lead to a loss of Islamic practice.
While Hijab is an obligation clearly ordained in the Quran and Sunnah,
the above-mentioned method of its enforcement and encouragement is not
Islamic, according to Muslim scholars, researchers and activists. Muslims
have to start seeing the issue from a different perspective, they say.
SOME ARGUMENTS IN SUPPORT OF NON-HIJABI SISTERS
”I would say that the overwhelming majority of Muslim women I have
met who don't cover and who believe in God, believe they should cover,
but believe they're not ready yet,” says Sharifa Alkhateeb, vice-president
of the North American Council of Muslim Women, in an interview with Sound
Vision.
This reality indicates there is a seed of faith that needs to be nurtured
and encouraged. As well, it means these women need all the support they
can get.
Abdalla Idris Ali is a member of the Islamic Society of North America's
(ISNA) Majlis Shura, which debates Islamic issues and establishes policy
for the organization. He says what also has to be remembered is that many
Muslim women are coming from cultures where the Hijab is not practiced,
for whatever reason. These sisters should not be condemned. Rather, Islamic
concepts like Hijab, should be explained to them.
Another possibility is that Muslim women who do not wear Hijab are coming
from families which are either not practicing Islam, or are downright
hostile to it.
In this situation, “it's actually a celebration that a young Muslim
woman wants to pray Juma,” says Kathy Bullock, who started wearing
Hijab two weeks after she converted to Islam.
“I think that's where the tolerance comes in.”
Another reason some Muslim women may find Hijab difficult is because of
the often negative ideas surrounding Hijab. For instance, that wearing
Hijab kills marriage and job prospects. Muslim activists must seek to
dispel such myths.
”There needs to be a lot more support for the women who decide to
cover,” says Bullock, who completed a PhD. about The Politics of
the Veil from the University of Toronto in January.
Bullock also gives a chilling warning to those who condemn non-Hijabi
Muslim women: “We might be wearing Hijab but we might be doing something
incredibly wrong which cancels out the reward [for wearing it].”
One of these things she mentions is arrogance.
WHY ARE SOME MUSLIMS SO SENSITIVE ABOUT THE HIJAB?
Some Muslims seek to condemn non-Hijabis out of their understanding of
the Quranic injunction of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil.
Yet, they fail to take the right approach in doing it, in accordance with
the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him),
which was one of kindness, gentleness and patience.
Interestingly, some Muslim men and women who criticize non-Hijabi Muslim
women seem to have different reasons for doing it and varying ways of
approaching a sister who does not wear Hijab.
“Unfortunately on the brothers' side there is a push to make Hijab
the marker of Islamic identity,” says Bullock. She also emphasizes
the hypocrisy of many Muslim men criticizing Muslim women who do not wear
the Hijab, while they themselves wear tight jeans or pants, or short shorts.
These forms of dress are strictly prohibited for men in Islam. Yet, go
to any Juma or Jamaah prayer, and these forms of unIslamic dress can be
easily seen.
”I think some of the men put too much emphasis on the women instead
of looking at their own selves,“ she says.
However, Alkhateeb thinks most of the men are less vigilant than the women
about Hijab, partly because they figure the women are going to take care
of it.
She argues that the majority of the Muslim men who are over concerned
about with the issue of Hijab because they don't trust themselves sexually,
and fear their own reaction to a woman who is not covered Islamically.
For women, weak self-identity and faith could explain the harshness shown
towards non-Hijabi Muslimas.
“It is so difficult to maintain the practice of covering, emotionally,
psychologically on the job and in everyday life, you get so much negativity
from other people that the reaction of most of the practicing women and
activists is to develop a cocoon, a protective cocoon, and part of that
protective cocoon is in continually, verbally and in other ways rejecting
what is unlike yourself,” explains Alkhateeb.
“And that is to shore up your own self-identity. I think that part
of the reason they are so negative is because this is part of shoring
up their own self-identity and because there is a hidden fear that if
they let down their guard that they'll stop covering. And if they allow
any space in their mind to alternative ways of thinking that their thinking
will fall apart. And that means that the underlying precepts and concepts
are not strong.”
WHERE DOES HIJAB FIT ON THE ISLAMIC LADDER?
“While it is correct to say that Hijab is correct in the teaching
of Islam we tend to forget that there are many other basic issues, why
the over obsession?” asks Jamal Badawi, a member of the North American
Fiqh Council.
Part of the reason some Muslims treat non-Hijabis so harshly is because
of their lack of understanding about where the obligation of Hijab ranks
on the Islamic ladder.
A more correct approach would be gradual and would mean implementing more
important aspects of Islam, like Iman (faith), and praying five times
a day before moving on to requirements like Hijab.
“We fail to see any Ayah (verse of the Quran) pertaining to Hijab
in the entire Makkan revelation that was given to the Prophet, that's
almost 13 years. The injunctions about more detailed aspects relating
to the righteous Muslim community were revealed during the Medinan period.
Some in the middle, and later part of that period,” explains Badawi,
“This is a revealing lesson for us because it shows that Allah knew
in advance what injunctions He wanted to reveal,” he adds. “Yet
He delayed the revelation of those matters until many, many years of preparation
on the level of Iman, submission to Allah, love of Allah and the sincere
desire to voluntarily obey Allah and His Messenger. Once that base was
established it wasn't difficult at all for the believing women to willingly
abide by the injunctions of Allah. “
Badawi says this is similar to how the Islamic commandment forbidding
intoxicants was introduced.
“The same process of preparation took place to the point that when
the final prohibition of intoxicants was revealed it wasn't difficult
for men to abide by that willingly and immediately.” He explains
this was especially difficult for Muslim men, who were the ones reported
more likely to consume alcohol than women at that time.
“Some well-intentioned Muslims seem to miss these lessons from the
gradual revelation and become too legalistic to the point of doing more
harm than benefit, notwithstanding their good intentions,” adds Badawi.
WRONGLY USING THE
“BASEBALL BAT” APPROACH TO THE HIJAB
“Muslims gain a little bit of knowledge and they want to run around
with a baseball bat and beat people over the head with religion. That's
exactly what [has] made many young people leave the mosque,” says
Alkhateeb.
Using the right method to tell Muslim women about Hijab is crucial, just
as it is in advising Muslims to implement any other requirement of the
faith.
“In the Prophet's whole life he led by encouragement not pressure,”
she says. “The way he behaved is the opposite of how most Muslims
who are practicing Muslims behave towards each other in terms of giving
advice. His way was not carrying around a religious baseball bat.”
The thinker and writer, who has also been an activist for the last 35
years points out the “baseball bat” methodology is in full swing
when many Muslims encounter non-Hijabis.
“Instead of inviting her and embracing her, they're immediately trying
to think about what they can criticize her about,” says Alkhateeb.
The Prophet also did not use“vigilantes” to impose a religious
requirement like Hijab.
“When we deal with the Sunnah, we find that he never appointed vigilantes
to go around to reinforce something that believing Muslim women were encouraged
to do, or use any harsh words or actions to arrive at that desired situation
or desired setting,” says Badawi. “The approach that he followed
which we should follow as our example was not to focus on issues like
Hijab before Iman and psychological and spiritual preparation was in place.”
Badawi stresses inviting to Hijab and other Islamic requirements should
be done in a way “that would motivate people to respect the moral
values of society rather than simply forcing them to do so. In fact that
goes back to the definition of Islam which is willing trusting and loving
submission to Allah and obedience to His Messenger.”
As an example, he cited an incident from the lifetime of the Prophet when
a Bedouin man urinated in the mosque. When other Muslims saw this, they
became very angry and wanted to rebuke him harshly.
The Prophet on the other hand, stopped them and told the man gently what
he was doing was incorrect.
“That story is a classic example of the contrast between the attitudes
of some well-intentioned Muslims who want to correct the wrong immediately
and by any means and the approach of the Prophet of kindness, gentleness,
persuasion and wisdom,” he explains.
TEMPORARILY TOLERATING
THE WRONG: A RULE OF USUL AL-FIQH
“The other aspect which is frequently missed is another rule of ordaining
the good and forbidding the evil which was addressed by many scholars
especially by the famous Shaykh ul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah,” says Badawi.
“The rule basically is that if in a given situation, attempting or
trying to forbid the wrong may result in greater harm than benefit, then
it is better to tolerate the wrong on a temporary basis.”
“I think the classic example that Ibn Taymiyyah is referred to is
when the Tatars invaded Muslim lands,” explains Badawi. “He
was told that some of these soldiers were drinking and that they should
be stopped because this is part of forbidding the wrong yet, he advised
that they should be left alone. His reasoning was that if those soldiers
become sober, they might go on killing more people which is a greater
harm than drinking”.
“This is not a new rule,” he emphasizes. ”It is a basic
rule in Usul al-Fiqh, the roots of Islamic law, that if some harm is inevitable
then it is better to tolerate the lesser harm in order to prevent great
harm.”
Badawi demonstrates how this rule could apply to a situation where a Muslim
sister who does not wear Hijab attends Juma prayer.
“For example, if that sister is approached in a harsh way she may
not come again which could hurt her and hurt the community at large. But
if she's welcomed first and there's demonstration of brotherhood and friendship,
then in a gentle and wise way that is suitable for her, she can be encouraged,
then of course it would be a far better result than the confrontational,
harsh approach.”
INVOLVING NON-HIJABI SISTERS IN ACTIVITIES
“It's only by mixing in the right company that someone who is contemplating
Hijab will have the strength and courage to make the final act,”
says Bullock.
This means women offering friendship, as well as involving the sisters
in Islamic activities through organizations like Muslim Students' Associations.
Bullock notes that if a Muslim woman wants to do something for Islam she
should be applauded “because she could be out there doing something
else.”
“Muslim organizations have a duty to say what is right and to invite
in the best of manner women to cover and to support them when they do
so but that doesn't mean individuals should be judgmental when women are
not covering,” she adds.
INVOLVEMENT, BUT NOT LEADERSHIP
However, Ali and Badawi draw the line of involvement of non-Hijabi Muslim
women in Muslim organizations at the leadership level.
They both say that any Islamically-oriented organization will select a
person to be their leader who reflects their goals and aspirations. That
means a Muslim woman who does not wear Hijab would not be selected because
she is not fully following the precepts of Islam. Similarly, a Muslim
man who is not fulfilling Islamic obligations like prayer, chaste behavior,
etc. would also not be selected for a leadership position in such a milieu.
Badawi says this is not exclusion. Rather, it is the natural outcome in
any milieu which aims to be Islamically-oriented. Its leadership will
represent the precepts of Islam as much as possible.
“I'm against the term exclusion because if we apply the Islamic Shura
(consultative) method then the leadership would emanate from the people,
will be chosen by the people. And if the community or Islamic organization
in a given setting are truly Islamically oriented, one would expect that
the person chosen to be the spokesperson and symbol of that organization
should reflect their conviction and values in the best possible way.”
A POSITIVE APPROACH
Badawi gives an example of how he, “with my weaknesses” approached
an aggressive non-Hijabi sister and the result.
Many years back, during a visit to Australia, one sister, during one of
his lectures, a non-Hijabi Muslim woman asked questions about Hijab, in
a disapproving manner. He talked to her kindly and give information without
harshness.
Two years later, he returned to Australia, and a sister in full Hijab
approached him, asking if he recognized her. He did not.
“I am the one who was arguing with you about Hijab two years ago,”
she told him. “But it is the approach and information that you gave
me that helped me to study more, to educate myself and to make up my own
decision and I am happy with what I decided.”
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Your Comments
Esha Khan, Lahore -
wrote on 8/11/2012 2:24:45 PM
Rating: 
Comment: I'm from an extremely religious family , I perfrom my prayers, fast and do follow the Quran but I really don't feel like covering my head. My mom doesn't understand. This is my problem.
Thanks a lot. This article was really good.
KHADEEJA , harare -
wrote on 10/19/2009 3:19:31 PM
Rating: 
Comment: assalaam alaiqum
i am raised n bought up in an islamic country..this article is very informative!!jzk n keep it up...my 1 advice to all muslimahs when they say "we have to do the main pillars of islam n den do hijab OR LET US B READY N PURE OF HEART N DEN WE WILL THINK OF HIJAB" i dont no y ladies dont understand dat shaitaan is in our nafs n he will not let us do ne good n who is to say may b god forbids death knocks at our door!!! r we still goin to wait for our hearts to b ready for hijaab!! its faraz n we all ladies no dat..ne man seein our body parts n hair is gunnah for us ladies..d more we r indulge in dis world d farther we will b from deen...n shaitaan will not let us cover our selves untill we defeat him by wearin it slowly n den d taste of shyness n modesty will come on its own!!! our hearts dont have to b ready we our selves e to be ready for our deen!!
umm_maryam, somewhere in the dunyah -
wrote on 9/28/2009 2:33:04 PM
Rating: 
Comment: great article Masha ALLAH
Tom, Sanderson -
wrote on 9/11/2009 10:44:39 AM
Rating:
Comment: My own daughter and nieces have experienced thier hair being yanked in mosque just because a couple of strands were peeking out. They then no longer wanted to return to mosque. Trust me a kind word will do more than physically hurting someone
Neyear, England -
wrote on 3/26/2005 9:05:14 PM
Rating:
Comment: Assalam alaikum, I would like to thank the author of this article for highlighting a situation that is rife in western society. I am yet to wear a hijab as I feel it is a difficult step to take as the hijab is percieved with much prejudice in the west,and also I would like to establish more Islamic ways before portraying an outward symbol of my religion as wearing a hijab brings with it the responsibility of conveying Islam to the world. You as aperson are then symbolic of everything Islam represents and non-believers look to you to understand what Islam is. This is a difficult responsibility to undertake.
This is why I feel it is a great shame that muslims are looking down at other muslims and judgng them when they more then anyone understand that only Allah almighty has the right to do judge as only He is aware of the purity of a persons heart.
I have had first hand experience of being excluded for not wearing a hijab. It is a believers role to encourage not discourage those that wish to practise islam, and it is with the example that we as believers set that others will follow.
keep up the good work. Huda Hafiz
Nadia, Virginia -
wrote on 12/7/2004 3:55:37 PM
Rating:
Comment: As salaam alaikoom! This article was very interesting to read. I didnt know that our own muslims sisters would discriminate one that was just starting out, that is kind of rude i think. This article although, did give me a lot of good information on the outlook of hijab. As some other sisters here, I do not wear hijab, but inshallah one day I will. I have come to a point in my life where I think, no i know i am ready to wear it, but just to nervous to start. But I know that Allah[swt] knows my intentions and He will inshallah help me to start and complete my iman. Thank you for posting such a great article and enriching us with these points about Islam and hijab. May Allah[swt] always lead us in the right path and help those who are trying to get the courage [like me] to begin hijab...aameen. Iltemaz-e-dua, khuda hafiz-Nadia=)
Adeela, New Jersey -
wrote on 11/29/2004 8:54:47 PM
Rating:
Comment: Salam. I am a "born" Muslim woman raised in America since the age of 5. I recently began wearing the Hijab on October 13th, 2004. I always tried to keep Allah in my heart and the fear of his punishments. I always prayed to Him to guide me towards the righteous ways. And Alhamdullah He did. After I began wearing the hijab I automatically changed my lifestyle and dressing, I began praying 5 times a day, and began really learning my religion from the Quran and Hadith. The one very important aspect I did learn about Hijab is that it is not just my scarf or the shawl I wear to cover my body or the long shirts or the loose pants, but it also is the hijab of my glance, my thoughts, my actions, and the hijab of my "neeyat", both for men and women. One can wear layers of clothing where no part of the body is seen and still stare, give flirting looks, flirtatiously chat with the opposite sex, etc. The one very important thing in the Quran is the Hijab of your glances for man and woman. I think a man or woman who lowers their glances in the presence of the opposite sex is much more in fear of Allah than someone who is all covered and still shamefully glancing away. I'm trying to adopt the Quranic ways with my Hijab, not only with my scarf or clothes but also with my glances and clean thoughts in my heart and mind, InshaAllah! I pray that Allah will guide all of our Muslim bothers and sisters towards the righteous ways. I think more emphasis should be given with the Hijab of the inner sole rather than ONLY the Hijab of the hair and body. Both are equally needed to follow the Islamic way of life. Salam.
Michael A.H. Ihsan, Chandler, Arizona -
wrote on 10/21/2004 7:06:26 PM
Rating:
Comment: Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim
Being born and raise in America and reverting back to my orginal way of life, Islam, and having the blessed experience to be raise in Islam by Imam W.D. Mohammed since 1975, I thank the Almighty Allah for this website and articles like this one. Not ever claiming to be holier then thou, but our muslims women here in America have never, ever faced the troubles that many of my muslims are facing now. My former wife worn her headwrap and made her top longer and pants in the same fashion as the medical uniform. Worn the whites shoes and has retired from the medical field as a nurse and has never been told to change her Islamic appearance. My three daughters attended public schools here and have never been told to take it off or go home. As I and the millions of followers of Imam Mohammed have learn, "Hijab" means to "cover". Cover that which will have attention drawn unto you in a negative way. This cover, covers your three stages of development, mental, physical and spiritual. I as a African-American Muslim male I like the dress of my middle-eastern sister with the full hijab, as it varies from country to country in our muslim world, but what I don't like is that the style of Hijab that America is portraying upon the muslim sister is what wrong, not the hijab itself. I must say openly that I was never taught that the Hijab style of dress as we see it today on the news daily is the "official dress of the muslim world,as ordained by Prophet Mohammed(PBUH) and can never change. Never read in the Holy Qu'ran that this Hijab garment is it and nothing else will do. Oh no! This is wrong to think that way. We are all changing everyday (insha-llah) by Islam and I truly believe that Prophet (PBUH) spoke of many changes to come through our growth in trying to perfect Islam in our lives. To cover ones self in her/his day, the full Hijab was needed for woman due to the envirnoment of the country as well as to the covering of oneself in Islam. "Black" is not the official color of Hijab is it? No, it is not. Once the sisters from outside America realise that they are free to let the Iman show more outwardly, and they realise that their husband are truly looking to see if she can follow Qu'ran on her own, ( as Allah has ordained) he will not be obligated to dress her. But the fear of letting her out makes him and others think negative thoughts about her, especailly to those sister who are not like her. There is no compusion in Islam, none of the million of sisters that follow Imam Mohammed have face this small misunderstanding about Hijab. The non-Islamic American have never outwardly attack the African American sisters like this, and that is because they've watched and learn Islam grow from within the country. Honestly speaking as your brother to both males and females muslim that (isha-llah) should be bless to read my comment(if printed) must understand, that the non-Muslim Americans are watching to see if you all are following closely to us, born and raise here. If you do as we have done as your guides in America you can live your religion out in America, because Allah has planned to raise Islam in America from within. Hijab is not a fighting issue amongst us here, We are glad and very proud to have, to see you come here, but not to fight over how to cover. Sisters, if your Deen or Din is right, or you on coming back to it, then cover yourself for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of what Aisha, Khalilah, Fatima,etc. have to say to you about how they dress compare to how you dress. Cover for the sake of Allah, wrap your head so that your beautiful attractive hair does not show, roll down your shelves and button the cuff, make sure that your shirt or top cover rear bumper and your front end is not even a worry, wear you pants loose, (because as the American non-Muslim women has learn the hard way, tight-fitting jean leads to an " negative medical itch") and make prayer. Then at the next jum'ah wear an traditional Hijab of a flowery colors and pattern that is in season, then change up again for the next Jum'ah. First hand knowledge has shown me that the Hijab is being changed in the back seat of sl500 as it speeds out of Riyadh crossing the bridge into Bahrain on a Friday night, sholud I say more about where that sister in at today. As many of us have read in this article that the "outward image does not necessarily mirror the inner image." I love this website, I love the articles and I tuly love those who speak out and those who are finding Islam to be "what America is telling you is not true Islam" is negative. Using the glossary of the website, I leave with this- "Hijab= ANY kind of veil-it. The facial Hijab is divided into two types: Niqab full facial covering, Khimar: partial facial covering, leaving the eyes exposed. It is said that the universe is what veils Allah from the creation. If you find the veil awe-inspirin, how much more awe-inspiring is the one behind the veil!" Allah-u-Akber. Sister don't get caught up on fashion, it will always go out of style. But style will always be "in-fashion" If you awe me with just your blue, green, brown, black eyes today at Juma'h and then smile at me again without the veil and your skirt-set is long and bright and not tight, to where I must gazed into your eyes but I can not placed them as the eyes that I saw last week and you then do your normal girl thing and laugh at me because I just can't remember, then Allah is smiling with us both. We are Muslims and we have placed Allah first and our Hijab is correct, for we are covered properly from within to where our outside is not an issue. I hope and pray that my comments makes this pages and I thank SoundVision for this website. Insha-llah remember we have made America accept Al-Islam ever since 1930, you have to decise if you are going to accept what is in place and then change up on them, and smile and keep them guessing. I love you all. May Allah continue to bless us to receive His Light of understanding. As-Salaam-Alaikum, your Brother Michael
Runna, South Carolina -
wrote on 10/17/2004 2:03:45 AM
Rating:
Comment: As a Young Muslim Teenage Girl trying to understand and learn about her religion, I am yet to wear hijab. I have often thought about it, but do not consider myself ready. Before I wear hijab, I want to understand Islam and its principles. I do not want to be one of those people who do something while not understanding its meaning and purpose of it. I feel that the feeling of superiority that some Muslim women show towards those that are not yet ready to wear hijab is not right. Inshallah, in time, I will have studied Islam extensively, come to understand it, wear hijab, and help others reach the same point.
rabia, pakistan -
wrote on 8/4/2004 12:05:55 PM
Rating:
Comment: very balanced, thorough, well-rounded and 'wise' article demonstrating the true spirit of Islam. tolerance, compassioin, and love.
mashaAllah.
Esp. useful were the otherwise uncommonly quoted examples of incidences relating to approach of the Holy Prophet (pbuh).
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