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Anatomy of the Prom: What is it about?

The Prom is intended to be a celebration of the completion of high school. It is usually held in the month of May. In some parts of North America, there is a junior (after grade 11) and a senior prom (after grade 12) in some places. In others, it is only held upon completion of high school.

It consists of the following elements:

The Buildup

• Check out teen magazines, especially North American ones, in March and April (if not before) and you will find articles about various aspects of the Prom: hairstyles, dresses, limousines, teens sharing their prom experiences etc.

• In a number of high schools, build up to the Prom begins in September of the academic year of the Prom. There is often a Prom committee, which is responsible for fundraising for the event and organizing it. This is done in consultation with school officials like teachers and the principal.

• A number of televisions show, especially situation comedies (sitcoms) aimed at teens and families, make the prom a focus of at least one episode around Prom time.

The Preparation

• Planning for the Prom begins well in advance. Shadi Sakr, 23, was on his high school Prom committee, but later decided to leave, and did not attend the Prom either. "The whole year, people were getting their licenses, deciding on what clothes they wanted to wear, reserving their appointments six months in advance for the hair salon," he says.

• Proms are not cheap. Depending on parents' and individual teens' financial circumstances, hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent on the Prom.

• This is usually for the following items: for girls, fancy dresses; for boys, renting a tuxedo; the actual banquet; renting a hotel room; renting a limousine or other expensive car; beauty salon for girls to get their make up done and the after-prom party.

• In some places, there is almost an entire day devoted to pre-prom preparation, with a party to commemorate the event.

• In most cases, it is expected that teens will go with a date. Boys usually ask girls for a date to the prom in advance of the event. "I didn't go to the graduation or the prom because I had just started practicing [Islam]," says Ali Shayan, 21, of Ottawa, Canada. "The fact that there was alcohol and you had to go with a date, because of those reasons I didn't want to go," he adds.

The dinner

• This is the part of the Prom, which is sponsored by the school. It is usually a dinner, followed by mixed-sex dancing all under the supervision of teachers. Alcohol is usually not served here, since most of the participants are under 18, and they may not legally be allowed to buy or be sold alcohol, depending on local laws.

The after-party

• This is the party following the above-mentioned dinner. This is where the sex, drugs and rockn' roll aspect of the Prom becomes most evident. There is almost never held under any adult supervision.

The party can be held at the home of a graduating student whose parents are not there, in a club, or in the hotel where the above-mentioned dinner was held.

Other notes

• Sex: a number of graduating students decide Prom night is the night to lose their virginity. This applies to men and women. Hotel rooms are often rented for this specific purpose.

• Drugs: these are not hard to find and it is not uncommon to find marijuana, for instance being smoked and passed around freely.

• Alcohol is easily available and has led not only to embarrassing moments for a number of teens, but death with incidents of drinking and driving. Alcohol is usually more likely to be consumed during the after party, since there is no adult supervision. Generally, most places outlaw the sale of alcohol to those under the age of 18.

• Dress code: in general, while boys are covered from neck to foot in tuxedos, it is socially expected for girls to dress in formal evening gowns. Take a look at some magazines featuring prom dresses and this will give you a good idea of what most of the formal dresses are like: low-cut, short, or long dresses with a large slit which reveals most of the legs.

• Entertainment: Loud rock music which has been popular that specific year, romantic ballads, and mixed sex dancing are the main forms of entertainment at the Prom, including the school sponsored dinner.

• What do adults do about the after prom party activities: According to Khalid Griggs, Imam of The Community Mosque of Winston-Salem in North Carolina, you find that the local hotel and motel operators rent rooms to 16, 17 and 18-year-olds knowing that they should be below the age of renting rooms. So there's a tacit kind of approval and even cooperation on the part of local merchants to loosen the normal restraints on the sale of alcohol, the renting of hotel rooms, those things in particular. There's a cooperation on the part of the merchants to facilitate the debauchery that goes on Prom night.

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH PROM:
Anatomy of the Prom: What is it about?
The Prom Exposed: Seeing it for what it really is
How to Say No To The Prom: 6 tips
Why I boycotted the Senior Prom? Dawud Wharnsby Ali
7 Prom Tips For Teens
10 things you can do besides go to the Prom
7 Things Muslim communities can do about Proms
10 Prom Tips for Parents
[Discuss Prom in our forum]