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How to Say No To The Prom: 6 tips
Got your tongue-tied? Not sure how to say no? Having doubts about why you're not going? Consider these tips to help you say no.
1. Ask Allah's Help
Make Dua (supplication) to Allah to help you resist Prom pressure for His Sake. He is the source of all strength and only He can help you avoid it.
2. Ask yourself WHY you want to go?
Is it because of your friends? Is it just to hang out? Is it because you don't have anything else to do that night?
Finding out why you want to go to the Prom can, if Allah wills, help you better identify how to cope with it.
3. Find out what's wrong with it
Talk to a trusted practicing Muslim friend or an Imam or community leader you trust if you have any doubts about why going to the Prom is a danger to you as a Muslim. And read The Prom Exposed: Seeing it for what it really is at http://www.soundvision.com
4. Remind yourself that you will get what is better
"I firmly believe in the fact that if you give something for the sake of Allah, Allah replaces it with something even better. Try it out and see what happens," says Taha Ghayyur of Young Muslims of Canada.
5. Find a friend who is also not going
This is a great way to deal with Prom pressure. Resist is together, and you'll feel stronger and more confident about your position not to go to the Prom.
6. Remind yourself of what's beyond the Prom.
The buildup to and the letdown from the Prom is often intense and disappointing. Remember that life goes beyond this one night. Insha Allah (Allah willing) you've got a bright future ahead. Keep your eyes focused there instead of this one night of artificial happiness.
HOW TO DEAL WITH PROM:
Anatomy of the Prom: What is it about?
The Prom Exposed: Seeing it for what it really is
How to Say No To The Prom: 6 tips
Why I boycotted the Senior Prom? Dawud Wharnsby Ali
7 Prom Tips For Teens
10 things you can do besides go to the Prom
7 Things Muslim communities can do about Proms
10 Prom Tips for Parents
[Discuss Prom in our forum]
Murtaza, Cambridge, MA -
wrote on 9/25/2005 8:20:25 PM
Comment: First of all, may Allah bless all those involved in bringing this and the related web articles to internet publication, for its righteousness and usefulness. I wish I'd read these articles before my prom (though I ended up not going anyway).
On the other hand, I'd like to comment on tip 5: I think it is flawed. If a person who's considering not going to prom relies on the strength of someone else who's also not going to prom, the strength may backfire... because if the other person later decides to go to prom, the first person's reliance will shatter, and his/her resistance to prom may be eliminated, thus causing him/her to be sucked into prom.
My central point is that the strength of others is not always reliable; while the strength coming from Allah is always reliable.
May Allah guide all of us towards the Right Path.
Sania, Chicago, Illinois -
wrote on 6/29/2004 3:52:08 PM
Comment: Salam. i this this site is a great way for teens and others to really find their faith. First of all i think that Muslims around the world are probablly happy that people of other faiths are visiting Islamic sites.After all, Islam welcomes people of all ages, color, gender, race, etc. . However, for those non-muslims who visit these sites and get offended somehow, don't write negativity about this site or Islam. Every religion has its reasons about everything. Your's does too, doesn't it? If some people don't agree with some of the stuff here....oh well. There's no problem with talking about it but but you should atleast respect the religion and its followers.
jen, mn -
wrote on 4/15/2004 9:39:26 AM
Comment: the comment before bothered me. i am not muslim, or anything, but this is a muslim site. they have their own beliefs, and views on things. they are not old fashioned or unreasonable. maybe next time you try to make yourself sound smart, research what kind of site you are at and then be more culture sensitive.
Lindsey, San Jose, CA -
wrote on 3/12/2004 5:16:34 AM
Comment: Your prom articles were the most ridiculous things I have ever read in my life. I don't know how I stumbled upon them, but they annoyed me. First of all, what is so bad about "mixed sex dancing"? Dancing involves being with friends. Guys and girls can be friends. What is the problem? And not EVERYONE drinks at prom. Some people do, some people don't. And in my experience, the people who don't drink garner the most respect from everyone, including those who do drink. Having sex at prom is a lame stereotype. I'm not going to have sex with my best guy friend just because I brought him to prom. In addition, every single after prom party I have ever attended (which is many) there has been parental supervision. Everyone is allowed to spend the night at whoever's house it is, but the parents are there and they know what is going on. It's not some clandestine event you make it out to seem. And finally, "local merchants" who supply hotel rooms and alcohol to students? They don't exist. In case you were wondering, this is the year 2004. People are litigious, and parents will not hesitate to sue any person who provides alcohol to a minor that results in some sort of accident. In fact, at my high school and at many other high schools, they made sure that no students were able to rent any room at the hotel the prom was held at and also called area hotels to make sure that there were no prom parties being held. If you were caught having a party at a hotel, you were not allowed to graduate. Your articles may have been applicable years ago, but perhaps you should try actually attending a prom before writing libelous and fallacy filled accounts of what "really happens" at prom.
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