American Muslim parents often feel that the pulls of the secular society put the very souls of their children at risk. As Muslims minorities in a society that places a high value on individualism and exploration, maintaining Islamic principles and beliefs in adolescents, teens and young adults can be a unique challenge. The impact of culture on the individual’s mindset can never be underestimated. Therefore, when a parent notice doubts in matters of religion from their child, the situation can be navigated to a favorable outcome. Doubt and hope may seem to be in opposition to each other, but they are intertwined and lead to an increase in Iman - faith.
Doubt is part of the human condition. It is so much of our make-up as human beings that in the Holy Quran addresses it immediately. Sura Al-Fathiah is both the first chapter and a dua. These oft repeated verses are recited at every prayer. But then the Holy Quran gets to the heart of its message with the first line of the second chapter. Here Sura Al-Baqarah addresses the human failing of doubt and Allah, The Most High, teaches and assures the believers that the Quran, this divine recitation has no doubt.
This is the Book! There is no doubt about it1—a guide for those mindful ˹of Allah
Sura Al-Baqarah 2-2
The people who became Muslims during the prophet age must have found great hope in that declaration, because it instilled trust, confidence and assurance for them. In the U.S teens are taught to question everything. Therefore, a teen may question how culturalized the Islam is in their home. These young adults may ponder the meaning, purpose and significance of matters of faith and ibadah. Teen girls may question the relevance of hijab. A young adult male may question the modesty between the sexes. They may question why Islam forbids use of intoxicants when all their non-Muslim friends seem to indulge with mild repercussions. Parents have to admit to themselves that their adolescent, teen and young adult children are bombarded with worldly influences through all forms of media and personal interaction with people. Young people may begin to feel that the Islamic behavior in their home is something just meant for the home. In some cases they may feel that it is something they don’t like or don’t want for themselves. Thus, they have doubts.
But doubt can be a catalyst for growth.
Parenting is not easy and parents must create way to communicate with their children. If a parent simply tells their questioning adolescent that it is haram to have doubts, this only reinforces the child’s feeling of alienation and confusion because they live in an outer culture that forces students to ask ‘why’.
The why of the situation is not a problem. In fact, the tafsir in the Quran is meant to provide the historical background and context of the ayah because as time and circumstance advance and change, there may not be an automatic reference. Thus, Muslim parents don’t have to fall into despair when their adolescent quizzes Islamic principles. The disbelievers of the prophetic age, doubted the prophesy of Muhammad (SAW) and the miracle of Quran – until they were taught. Therefore, parents can teach.
Feelings of doubt are an extremely disliked thing for Muslims because Allah speaks to the non-believers on this issue. But parents must remember that although you raise your children in an Islamic home and with Islamic principles, unless or until your youth make their own shahadah that they have come to know and understand that Allah is G-d and Muhammad (SAW) is the messenger of God, their doubts may simply be out of ignorance.
Ignorance is also a part of the human condition. We are all ignorant to the true glory and bounty of Allah. Human beings don’t have that capacity. Even those chosen by Allah to be a guide and prophet to mankind didn’t have the capacity to fully understand Allah. This is His Will. In the Holy Quran, we have examples from the prophets themselves when faced with adversity and challenges that bordered on doubt. From their examples, we learn that doubt becomes a catalyst for hope. Hope is the response to doubt.
In Suratul- Kahf we learn the story of prophet Musa (AS) and his interaction with Khidr where he doubted the validity of Khidr’s actions but came to understand that Allah reveals the nature of things in due time. In Surah Al-Baqarah, ayah 260 prophet Ibrahim (AS) asks Allah to show him how life is brought to the dead. Prophet Ibrahim did not doubt it, but he wanted his heart to be reassured – he wanted hope. His reassurance was hope and comfort in understanding the majesty of Allah, The Most High.
Parents can teach their children two important lessons: that Allah reveals knowledge to the human being in stages meaning those things they doubt will become something they understand and appreciate in time. Also when Allah does demonstrate His magnificence then doubt moves to a comforting place of hope and increased Iman.
In workable terms, parents can challenge and provide opportunities for their older children to look for answers to their doubts. The internet is a resource for short lectures from learned scholars and Imams that discuss and answer questions relevant to modern times like responding to political unrest, injustice, war, pandemic, Islamophobia and many more. Parents can take advantage of conferences and programs, especially those that are young adult oriented that address topics of concern. The ‘Scared-Straight’ strategy of having youth volunteer or meet with youth who have given in to worldly vices like drugs or alcohol and the negative impact that has had on their lives removes doubt about the wisdom of avoiding intoxicants or not maintaining modesty between the sexes. Don’t forget the bonding through family discussion including elders to help put practices and beliefs into perspective.
It is the nature of the human being to derive hope from the process of researching for understanding. They hope they find the answer. They hope that the answer helps them understand. They hope the answer alleviates their fears. The doubt that fuels their fear turns to hope as they learn. And as they learn the beauty and truth of Islam, their faith is strengthened.
“The truth is from your Lord, so do not be among the doubters” [Quran 3:60]
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