As a parent raising children in a generation caught in the web and social media from a young age, my concerns far exceed those my parents once had. I am constantly vigilant about who my children are connecting with and what content they are exposed to online, knowing firsthand how quickly innocent interactions can turn harmful. Rather than a landline or a personal computer in a designated room, families now have multiple portable devices with internet and phone access, including laptops, tablets, and smartphones. We are so dependent on these apparatuses that it is rare not to have them constantly in our faces. And while the digital age brings many benefits, it also presents significant risks. It is our job to safeguard ourselves and our children.
My Own Experiences
When I was in my teens, the only computer we had at home was in my parents’ bedroom. My generation (Gen Xers and early millennials) reached adolescence when the internet emerged as a popular tool to stay in contact with family and friends or research for school projects. I used the World Wide Web to check my email, surf the net, and chat with friends and strangers alike on sites like America Online (AOL), Yahoo, and Hotmail. These sites had their own special interest chatrooms and groups, where one could connect with like-minded teens. A common inquiry was to ask the age/sex/location (a/s/l) of users in the chats to find peers who were closest to us in age, hobbies, and locality. The messenger features of these sites allowed users to contact others privately. The few hours I spent online were at home supervised closely by my parents, but occasionally I chatted while they went about their day. Despite the controlled environment, it was not long before I was contacted by a sexual predator.
This person pretended to be a young adult, sending me photos of a foreign soap opera star and claiming they were pictures of himself. At first, our conversations were friendly, and he gradually earned my trust. We even exchanged phone numbers, something I realized later was a grave mistake. Things took a darker turn as he began insisting that I send him photos of myself, even hinting that they would be “better” the less clothing I wore. Though I refused to share any personal images, he continued to pressure me. Luckily, my mother happened to overhear a phone conversation, and immediately put a stop to the interactions. She forbade me from talking to this and other strangers online or sharing my home number, informing me of some of the dangers she learned from the news. I often think back to that interaction, a stark reminder of how effortlessly a predator can draw a young person into an uncomfortable and dangerous situation.
Now, as a parent raising children in a generation caught in the web and social media from a young age, my concerns far exceed those my own parents once had. I am constantly vigilant about who my children are connecting with and what content they are exposed to online, knowing how quickly innocent interactions can turn harmful. Rather than a landline or a personal computer in a designated room, families now have multiple portable devices with internet and phone access, including laptops, tablets, and smartphones. We are so dependent on these apparatuses that it is rare not to have them constantly in our faces.
Growing up, I recall only using my home phone for making calls. When cell phones became mainstream, they were purely for calling and texting. I did not get my own mobile phone until after high school, and even then, smartphones were far from the norm. It was not until 2001 that phones could access the internet, but the high cost of data kept these early smartphones out of reach for most people. The true shift happened in 2007, when Apple released the first iPhone, a sleek, internet-capable device that transformed how we viewed and used mobile technology. Suddenly, smartphones became versatile tools for work, entertainment, and communication, and by 2008, Google’s Android joined the market with similar capabilities, setting the stage for a new era of tech accessibility.1
Our Digital World
Now, over a decade and a half later, the digital world has become inseparable from our children’s lives. My first child was born in 2006, and for his generation and that of my other children who came later, smartphones and tablets are as common as toys. It is not unusual for toddlers to handle these devices, and children are often given their own phones or tablets as early as primary school. Today, the internet and social media are always within reach, meaning our kids are exposed to both its benefits and its risks far earlier than we ever were. This shift has heightened my concerns as a parent, as I strive to balance giving them access to technology with the need to protect them from its potential dangers.
Despite rising concerns about the effects of excessive internet surfing and social media on young people, children continue to use these platforms heavily, with some even describing their usage as “almost constant,” according to a recent Pew Research Center survey. The study conducted between September 26 and October 23, 2023, with a sample of 1,453 teens aged 13 to 17, provides insight into teens’ social media habits, internet usage, and device ownership. Among the key findings, YouTube emerged as the most popular platform, with nearly 90% of teens reporting they use it, making it the leading platform for this age group. Other social media channels like TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram also hold strong appeal. Most teens between the ages of 13 and 17 report using TikTok (63%), Snapchat (60%), and Instagram (59%), with usage even higher among older teens (ages 15 to 17), where roughly 70% engage with these platforms.2 These statistics should sound the alarm about the persistent allure and influence of social media on today’s youth.
Danger of Online Predators
There are many risks associated with social media use, not only for children but even for adults. Nevertheless, the youth are most vulnerable to falling prey to abuse and manipulation. Sexual predators lurk in some of the most unexpected places, including online in some of the applications most widely used by children. Social media has also become a hunting ground for online predators who exploit children’s vulnerability and curiosity. These platforms often lead young users down a dangerous path, exposing them to potential grooming, manipulation, and exploitation. Sadly, even Muslims perpetuate or fall prey to these wicked behaviors. Through interactions that may begin innocently, predators can use private messaging, comments, or even seemingly harmless “likes” to build trust with children and gradually push boundaries. Once trust is established, children may be coerced into sharing personal information, images, or videos, putting them at high risk of abuse.
Adult predators seeking to groom children online target social media platforms or digital games popular among young people, where they pose as peers to gain trust. Using fake profile photos, shared interests, and compliments, they work to build a sense of connection with children. With photo editing and design tools so readily available, sending fake images and videos has become easier than when I was an immature teen. In some cases, strangers may even offer gifts to further secure the child's trust and make their intentions appear friendly and harmless.
Six Actions Taken by Online Predators
According to the Child Rescue Coalition, these are the six steps predators take when grooming children online:
1. Reach out to the child and start the grooming process.
Usually, the predator sets up a fake account and poses as a child; then some form of grooming starts. The predator may comment on a social media post saying something like, “You look nice. I’d like to talk to you.” Investigators see these types of comments on Whisper, or a direct message on Instagram, Facebook Messenger, or Snapchat.
2. Getting to know the child.
Once the predator gains the child’s trust, they will begin chatting. Common things predators ask are open-ended questions: What are you into? Do you play sports? What grade are you in? What’s your worst subject? Do you have pets? These questions help them gain information that will allow them to secure the child’s trust and align their responses with the child’s — “Oh I don’t like math either, it’s awful.” This makes the child feel like they’ve found a friend with a common interest.
3. Private messages.
After they chat for a while about general subjects, the child predator will then move the conversation to the family dichotomy in a private chat. Usually they ask things like: Are your parents married? Divorced? How many brothers and sisters do you have? Who do you live with? At this point, the predator is trying to gain information about the child’s personal life and how involved their caretakers are.
4. Sexual conversation.
Once the predator has established a personal relationship with the child, they then move on to more suggestive and sexual questions: Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you straight or gay? Have you ever had sex before?
5. Sexual pictures.
How does a predator ask for a photo? Simple. “I sure would like to see a picture of you!” The child usually responds, with, “Like what?” And that’s when the predator begins asking for anything they can get the child to send them. They may send a false photo of themselves first, so the child feels comfortable with the exchange.
6. Sexual videos.
Once the predator gains the child’s trust, they’ll have the child send a photo in a bathing suit, or something even more inappropriate; and then will use it against the child. This type of abuse is called “sexploitation.” They will say something like, “If you don’t send me a video of you doing this, I’m going to send these photos to your parents, imam, soccer coach, or trusted adult.” The child is “sexploited” into complying out of fear and falls victim to sexual abuse.3
The ease of connecting with strangers and sharing content can place trusting children in situations where they may unknowingly engage with individuals intending to exploit them. This exposure not only puts their safety at risk but can also result in psychological and spiritual harm, leading them toward inappropriate and damaging behaviors that conflict with Islamic values. Parents and guardians must be vigilant about the risks of online platforms, initiating open discussions around online safety, consent, and self-respect within an Islamic framework to help protect children from these dangers. Unfortunately, the Muslim community is not exempt from the dangers posed by online predators.
Too Close to Home
Recent allegations of sexual and spiritual abuse involving a respected community leader and Quran teacher with possibly thousands of students worldwide has sent the American Muslim community reeling. The detailed FBI report circulating has deeply shaken us as concerned parents, both due to the severity of the crime and the potential for more victims to come forward. This individual allegedly used online platforms to groom, spiritually coerce, sexually abuse, and exploit at least one woman and a minor child. According to the report, victims used their devices to stay in contact with him and even filmed themselves engaging in explicit acts, believing—under his manipulation—that this was a path to spiritual closeness to Allah. The minor was less than twelve years old.
This tragic case is a stark warning of what can go horribly wrong when children, and even adults, are given unrestricted access to interact online with both strangers and trusted figures without adequate supervision. It is a reminder that we must stop assuming the online world is safe for our youth simply because they are interacting with known or respected figures. We cannot afford to be complacent; it is time to take an active role in guiding and monitoring our children's digital lives to safeguard them from exploitation and harm.
As technology continues to evolve and play an increasingly integral role in our lives, it is essential that we, as parents and guardians, take responsibility for safeguarding our children from the dangers of the online world. The accessibility of the internet, along with the prevalence of social media, has created an environment where predators can easily exploit the innocence of youth, often without warning or obvious signs. While the digital age brings many benefits, it also presents significant risks that we must address head-on. This means being vigilant, having honest conversations with our children, and setting clear boundaries for their online interactions. As the recent troubling case within our community has shown, no one is immune to these threats. It is crucial that we not only educate our children about the dangers but also actively monitor their digital engagement, ensuring that they are protected from harm.
End Notes
1 Smartphone History: The Timeline of a Modern Marvel
2 Teens, Social Media and Technology 2023 | Pew Research Center
3 Investigator Shares 6 Steps Predators Take to Groom Kids Online - Child Rescue Coalition
Wendy Díaz is a Puerto Rican Muslim writer, award-winning poet, translator, and mother of six (ages ranging from infant to teen). She is the co-founder of Hablamos Islam, a non-profit organization that produces educational resources about Islam in Spanish (hablamosislam.org). She has written, illustrated, and published over a dozen children’s books and currently lives with her family in Maryland. Follow Wendy Díaz on social media @authorwendydiaz and @hablamosislam.
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