Puberty is a phase of emotional, physical, and psychological transformations that occurs when children and teenagers grow and mature. This extraordinary phase of growth and transformation is a whirlwind of emotions, revelations, and obstacles that creates a lasting impact on everyone who experiences it. For several parents, navigating puberty from their younger children or pre-teens or teens can be overwhelming, particularly when dealing with their younger children or pre-teens or teenagers mood swings that usually characterize this time of growth. Here are some ways that parents can cope during this complex period with compassion and awareness for their children and teenagers:
1. Younger Children (7–10 years old)
Precocious puberty is when the indication of puberty begins before age 7 or 8 in females and before age 9 in males. It can be difficult for younger children and sometimes is a symptom of a health complication.
The following is a description of emotional signs of precocious puberty for younger children provided by Nemours KidsHealth :
- Young children feel different
- Early puberty will cause your child's body to change much sooner than his peers
- Have hormonal change- lead to emotional mood swings, may make them feel self-conscious
Helping your child deal with mocking from their classmates, treating your children appropriately for their age, and increasing their self-esteem are significant steps to help your child adjust well. How parents respond can affect how well kids manage their precocious puberty.
Parents can help their younger children develop self-esteem and healthy body image in a few ways:
- Help your children's interests
- Give compliments for achievements in school or sports
- Stop making comments about children’s physical attributes
Parental Role
Encourage open communication and build trust for future discussions. Begin having simple,
age-appropriate conversations about upcoming changes. Approach your younger children with their questions about body changes and development as they arise. Give true and simple explanations of physical changes. For example, "Your adult teeth might finish coming in, replacing your baby teeth. These teeth are bigger and stronger and will stay with you forever, so it’s important to take good care of them." Encourage honest conversations about emotions. Give permission to your children about expressing their emotions, whether sad, happy, or worried without judgment.
2. Preteens (10–12 years old)
It is a transitional phase between childhood and the teenage years. Their feelings become more complicated as they experience increased sensitivity. They become more self-conscious about their appearance and behaviors. For instance, a pre-teen might decline to wear certain outfits because one feels unattractive or overweight even if no one said negative comments to the pre-teen. Physically, they begin growing quickly, and their bodies start revealing early indications of puberty. For instance,
pre-teens have a higher likelihood of growth spurts, hair growth, and voice changes. Socially, they desire more acceptance from friends while still needing assistance and guidance from parents. They might react strongly to perceived rejection or criticism. For example, a pre-teen might stop playing a sport they once enjoyed because other players mock their athletic ability. This stage prepares them for the hardships of adolescence, shaping their self-esteem and confidence.
Parental Role
Parents can reassure their pre-teens that puberty is a natural part of growing up and that everyone experiences these changes at their own pace. They should listen patiently, answer questions honestly, and remind their child that feeling uncertain or self-conscious is normal. For example, if a pre-teen feels awkward because of a growth spurt, the parent can provide reassurance by mentioning their body is growing at its own pace and one will feel more balanced soon. Encouraging good hygiene, a healthy diet, and regular exercise can help pre-teens feel more comfortable in their changing bodies. Parents should also create a safe space where their child feels supported and respected, reinforcing that they are loved no matter what. Sharing positive examples of others who have gone through puberty can help ease worries and build confidence.
3. Teens (13–18 years old)
It is significant phase of physical, emotional, and social changes as they transition from pre-teens to young adulthood. It can lead to more recognizable emotional and mood swings. They become more independent, form deeper friendships, and start thinking critically about the world around them. Their emotions can feel more intense as they navigate new responsibilities, peer pressure, and self-identity. Teenagers begin searching for their identities during puberty, which can lead to confusion and uncertainty. This exploration is a normal phase of development but can be hard. Also, friendships become very important during puberty.
Physically, they continue growing, their features mature, and they develop more confidence in their appearance. Teens may experience changes in their social circles, resulting in loneliness or rejection. Parents can provide the necessary assistance when their teenagers emphasize the importance of friendship during this phase. Adolescents encounter peer pressure as they find acceptance in social groups, often being pressured to engage in behaviours or actions that don’t align with their values. The pressure can make it hard to decline activities or behaviours that make them feel wrong or uncomfortable, as teenagers may prioritize being accepted over staying true to their beliefs and opinions. This pressure can make it difficult to say "no" to things that feel uncomfortable or wrong, as teens may prioritize fitting in over staying true to their beliefs. Also, teenagers tend to request more privacy and personal space while still needing guidance and assistance from their parents. This stage shapes their values, beliefs, and future goals as they prepare for adulthood.
For Teens: Navigating Emotional Changes During Puberty
Understanding the Impact of Hormones
Puberty triggers the production of hormones such as estrogen (more dominant in females) and testosterone (more dominant in males). These hormones play an important role in physical changes, but they have a powerful impact on feelings by having increased emotional sensitivity. Estrogen and testosterone communicate with the brain's emotional centers, making adolescents more sensitive to feelings. Teens may experience magnified feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, or stress. For instance, a minor disagreement with a friend may feel like a bigger problem because of intense emotions. Parents can understand these changes as part of growing up. This stage shapes their values, beliefs, and future goals as they prepare for adulthood.
Islamic Perspective on Emotional Regulation
Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“The strong person is not the one who overcomes others in wrestling, but the strong one is the one who controls himself when he is angry.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari)
This hadith teaches that true strength lies in self-control, not physical power. Managing emotions prevents harm and leads to better decisions. Islam encourages kindness and discipline as signs of true strength. Prayer and dua are powerful methods to have more emotional stability. Salah connects us directly to Allah, bringing peace and relief from stress.
"And seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, it is a burden except for the humble— those who are certain that they will meet their Lord and to Him they will return."
(Surat Al-Baqarah 2:45-46)
This verse reminds believers that prayer is a source of comfort and strength, helping them cope with difficulties. It teaches that turning to Allah in prayer brings inner peace and guidance, especially during challenging times.
The Quran encourages us to call upon Allah with sincerity, as He is always listening and ready to respond to our prayers.
He is the Ever-Living. There is no god ˹worthy of worship˺ except Him. So call upon Him with sincere devotion, ˹saying,˺ “All praise is for Allah—Lord of all worlds.”
(Surah Ghafir 40:65)
This verse shows that Allah is always near and ready to listen when we call upon Him. He encourages believers to make dua and seek His help in all situations. Allah promises to respond, offering guidance, comfort, and support. This verse reminds us to turn to Him with trust, knowing that He hears and answers in the best way. Both strengthen our trust in Allah and help calm our emotions.
Parental Role
Parents can offer continuous guidance about managing emotions with Islamic values such as patience or trust in Allah. Also, they should be prepared and available for deeper conversations about relationships, identity, and faith. Parents can address mental health concerns if the teenager’s feelings become intense. Also, parents can model appropriate emotional regulation. By showing healthy strategies to deal with stress and manage emotions, parents can provide valuable lessons to their teenagers. In addition, parents can describe their own experiences and how they managed with difficult emotions. This will help teenagers understand different experiences and effective strategies to control emotions.
Emotional changes during puberty are normal and part of growing up. Parents should listen, guide, and support their children with patience and kindness. Open communication strengthens trust and understanding. Islam teaches self-control, kindness, and reliance on Allah to manage emotions. Encouraging prayer and dua brings comfort and stability. With faith and support, children, pre-teens, and teens can navigate puberty with confidence.
Emotional Changes During Puberty
Emotional Changes During Puberty: Navigating Mood Swings
Social & emotional changes: 9-15 years | Raising Children Network
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Writer Bio:
Amanda Hasan is a graduate of the University of Toronto (Bachelor of Arts) and Humber College (Law Clerk). She is the author of Joyless, an Amazon novella that tells the story of a lonely teenage girl working at an amusement park. More recently, Amanda copyedited several children's stories for Compass Books. She also worked with Muslim Network TV writing scripts, securing guest speakers, and preparing for interviews. Amanda is currently residing in the Greater Toronto Area with her family.
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