Frustration in relationships can be tough to handle. Whether it is friends or family, disagreements bring negative emotions such as anxiety and stress. However, arguments are inevitable and completely normal. It is important for everyone involved to understand each other’s feelings and communicate effectively to resolve the issue. This article will explore strategies to manage frustration in relationships, from communicating effectively to setting healthy boundaries, which will help make overcoming this frustration easier.
Disagreements in relationships are natural and will occur many times throughout a person’s life. Even petty little things can result in arguments. Imagine that you ordered a burger and fries yesterday, and ate the burger for dinner. After eating the burger, you felt full and decided to save the fries for a later meal. Today, you decided that now was a great time to eat those fries you saved. Upon opening the fridge, the fries are gone! Someone has eaten your food! You immediately feel frustrated, and since you have not eaten the whole day, you are also very cranky. When feeling this way, the first step is taking a step back from the situation. The culprit might not have known that the fries were yours, and immediately going over to scold or accuse them is not the right choice, as it will result in an even worse situation. Taking a step back and calming down will allow you to confront the person with a clear head, making the conversation healthier and more effective.
After you learn that someone ate the fries you were saving, you decide to sit down and take a breath, thinking about what to do next. While thinking, you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. You realize that maybe they were hungry and could not find anything else to eat. Putting yourself into others’ shoes is a great way to practice empathy, which in turn helps you understand opposite points of view. This is a crucial step in overcoming frustration, as it helps one acknowledge other people’s feelings. Because you understand that the person who ate your food was likely hungry and could not find anything else, you are more prepared to confront them and reach a solution.
Sometimes, disagreements do not require confrontation. The saying “choose your battles” perfectly describes this. Try not to turn minor inconveniences into big arguments. Strong negative emotions such as anger can lead to bad decisions that you might regret in the future. In a famous hadith narrated by Abu-Hurairah, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said: “The strong person is not strong because he can knock people down. The strong person is the one who controls himself when he is angry (Bukhari, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1317).” This hadith expresses the Islamic importance of controlling anger in frustrating situations, as this can prevent rash actions.
You decide that it is best to confront the person who ate your fries so you can prevent it from happening in the future. It is important to know how to communicate your feelings properly and calmly and acknowledge the other person’s feelings as well. Remember that the goal is to resolve an issue, not start a fight. You meet the person and explain to them how you were saving those fries and that you were disappointed when learning that they ate them without your permission. You tell them that you do not like it when others take your food, making sure to remain calm and collected. The person apologizes and reveals that they did not know that the fries were yours, and promises to not do it again. They also tell you to label your food in the future to avoid any confusion. After the conversation, you feel refreshed, as you had a healthy conversation and reached a solution that works for both of you.
The next step for overcoming frustration in this scenario is forgiveness. Learning to forgive and let go is key to preventing negative emotions from lingering even when the case is closed. Anas Bin Malik narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “Do not harbor a grudge against one another, nor jealousy, nor enmity; and do not show your backs to one another; and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to avoid speaking to his brother beyond three days (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).”
Frustration is a natural part of our relationships, but knowing how to handle it correctly makes all the difference. Whether it is a small issue like someone eating your food or another disagreement, it is best to approach the issue with patience and understanding. By taking a step back to reflect, putting ourselves in others’ shoes, and practicing effective communication, we can overcome our differences healthily. Additionally, choosing our battles and practicing forgiveness will help us prevent negative emotions from damaging the relationship. Knowing how to overcome frustration in relationships will enable us to maintain healthier relationships, full of understanding and acceptance.
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Writer Bio:
Uthman Guadalupe is a Latino Muslim college student with a passion for history and art. He is an assistant Brazilian Jiu Jitsu coach and freelance illustrator. He is fluent in Spanish and lives with his family in Maryland where he also enjoys playing video games and binging shows.
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