Among the many concepts we should teach our children about Islam, one of the most important is the remarkable, incomparable nature of Allah’s forgiveness. As they grow, our children are bound to make mistakes and commit sins. They might even do things that make them think they have caused irreparable damage to their relationship with God. At some point, they may fear they have distanced themselves so much from their faith they can’t even consider themselves Muslims anymore.
Despair is an emotion that Shaytan would love to encourage in humans. He wants to make us think we are too impure, too flawed, too bad, to turn back to Allah. He would love to lead us away from our Lord, and he will take advantage of our weakest moments to whisper to us that we are unworthy of Allah’s mercy, or unworthy of calling ourselves Muslims. Allah does not want this to happen, though. He makes it very clear that we should never despair of His forgiveness.
Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves: do not despair of God’s mercy, for God forgives all sins. He is indeed the Forgiver, the Clement.’
(Suarh Az-Zumar, 39:53)
What are the most important lessons we can teach our children about Allah’s forgiveness so that they never succumb to despair or turn their back completely on their faith?
1. Allah’s forgiveness and mercy are boundless.
Allah’s capacity to forgive is beyond anything we can imagine. He is not like a human who holds grudges, refuses to forgive and forget, or cuts wrongdoers out of their life. On the contrary, He is the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, the Ever and Always Forgiving. This means that the doors to His forgiveness are always wide open.
Indeed, Allah does not forgive associating others with Him in worship, but forgives anything else of whoever He wills.
(Surah An-Nisa, 4:48)
In this verse, Allah is telling us that he can and will forgive everything except associating another deity with Him. This is assuming, of course, that we sincerely seek His forgiveness. The Prophet, peace be upon him, explained to us what will happen if we turn to Allah in repentance:
“Allah the Almighty has said: ‘O Son of Adam, as long as you invoke Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O Son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and you then asked forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you. O Son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the Earth, and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it [too].’”
(Tirmidhi)
2. To earn His forgiveness, we should forgive others.
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and Allah will forgive you.”
(Sahih Bukhari)
There will be numerous opportunities for children to practice this virtue. Undoubtedly they will sometimes feel angry at siblings, friends, and even at their parents. This will be our chance to remind them to forgive others’ mistakes so that Allah will, in turn, be merciful to them.
“But if you pardon and overlook and forgive – then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.”
(Surah At-Taghabun, 64:14)
3. Follow a bad deed with a good one.
Each time our children do something wrong, it is an opportunity to teach them a habit that will benefit them for the rest of their life. After making a mistake or doing something unkind, they should immediately think of a good deed that can help make up for the bad one. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
"Be conscious of Allah wherever you are. Follow the bad deed with a good one to erase it, and engage others with beautiful character."
(Tirmidhi)
For instance, if they say something unkind to a sibling and hurt their feelings, we can help them brainstorm ideas of how to “erase” that bad deed. Perhaps they can think of three sincere compliments to give their sibling to take the sting out of the mean name they called them.
If our children regularly practice following bad deeds with good ones, it will become ingrained in them, inshaAllah, God willing, and they will maintain this practice throughout their life. This will also help them forgive themselves. Often, we are hard on ourselves long after we’ve done a bad deed, but perhaps Allah has already forgiven us.
4. Teach your children about Allah by using His beautiful names and attributes.
If they really understand Allah’s beautiful names and attributes, our children will have increased hope in His mercy. Whenever we talk about repentance, we should remind our kids that Allah is Al-Ghafur, The One Who Forgives over and over again. He is also Al-Ghaffar, The One Who Forgives even the gravest of sins. And He is Al-Afuw, The One Who Pardons, which means that He doesn’t even take into account that the sin occurred; He wipes our slate clean. Added to this, of course, are His attributes of being The Most Merciful, Most Compassionate, Most Loving, Most Kind, Most Forbearing, and Most Gentle.
When we empower our children to know their Creator and His infinite forgiveness and love for them, they will understand that their sins should not ever lead to despair or leaving the fold of Islam, inshaAllah.
Laura El Alam is a freelance writer and editor and the author of the book Made From the Same Dough, as well as over 100 published articles. A wife and mother of five, Laura lives with her family in Massachusetts. You can visit her online at www.seaglasswritingandediting.com.
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