Intercultural marriages are becoming more prevalent in the Muslim community, bringing together diverse backgrounds that can enrich a family’s experiences. In recent years, I have observed a growing number of intercultural marriages between Latino Muslim spouses and those from traditionally Muslim-majority ethnic backgrounds. While this shift reflects the increasing acceptance of Latin American Muslims within the broader Muslim community and a decline in prejudice among immigrant families toward perceived “others,” intercultural unions also present unique challenges. Even among devout and understanding Muslim couples, patience and effort are required to learn and respect each other’s cultures, traditions, and subtle nuances.
Ximena Linares, a Mexican convert to Islam, and her Pakistani American husband are navigating this very dynamic as they begin their journey of parenthood. In celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month, Ximena shares her reflections on balancing Mexican and Pakistani traditions, blending these two cultures in their marriage, and raising their daughter with both Islamic and ethnic values. We asked her a set of questions, which she graciously answered to help us better understand the intricacies of her intercultural marriage and parenting journey.
Q: How has your experience been navigating an intercultural marriage between Mexican and Pakistani backgrounds? What are some of the cultural differences and similarities you have encountered?
A: I keep thanking premarital counseling because, had I not taken it, I would not have known that living with your in-laws is such a common practice in Pakistani culture. Cultural differences have surged and have led to difficulties in my role as a daughter-in-law because of how much Desi culture praises their oldest sons. It can become a toxic dynamic when attention is placed solely on the son. However, the similarities are due to Islam, not really culture, which has been my lifesaver because it gives me my rights and it keeps everything in balance.
Q: What advice would you give to other Muslim couples considering an intercultural marriage, particularly in balancing cultural expectations from both families?
A: Islam should always go first, not one or another’s culture. This only will preserve peace, respect and balance between each other. If something makes you uncomfortable, do not settle, this is why there is the wali or guardian in Islam. You have to remember that you as a couple are your own new family.
Q: Have you faced any challenges in how your respective cultures approach gender roles, marriage dynamics, or family values, and how do you navigate that as a couple? How do you blend your Mexican and Pakistani traditions?
A: Yes because of how son-centered all the dynamic can be, the wife has to give in in many situations. The distance does not help in terms of me trying to incorporate my family’s traditions, so we mostly stick to his. We try to blend them in according to time and space; are we dressing Desi style for a walima or are we dressing Mexican for Independence Day or are we going out as a family of three during July 4th. At home, food is diverse and that provides a calming balance as well.
Q: As a new mother, how has your cultural background influenced your parenting style? Do you incorporate any traditional practices from your Mexican heritage?
A: I try to recreate the aspects I most cherished as a kid. I also know how to identify those things that hurt me or impacted me in a negative way as well. I don’t follow tradition for the sake of it but re-educate myself first before passing it on to my daughter. What I definitely try to keep from my Mexican background is discipline because I do believe manners and values have to be taught from an early age and not only from Sunday School.
Q: What has been the most rewarding and most challenging part of motherhood so far, especially as you adapt to both the Mexican and Pakistani cultural expectations for parenting?
A: The help, which has allowed me to take breaks and also knowing that my daughter will have the best of both worlds so one background or the other will hopefully not overwhelm her. The love that both sides give to my daughter.
Q: How do you plan to pass on both your Mexican heritage and your Muslim faith to your child? How do you see both enriching their identity?
A: By teaching her the deen in my language and bringing in the values that were taught to me as well. I definitely believe in re-living my childhood with her in order to live an authentic and sincere life.
Ximena’s interview highlights the beauty and challenges of intercultural marriages, reminding us of the importance of embracing and supporting such unions within our communities. As Allah tells us in Surah Al-Hujarat:
“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Aware.”
(Surah Al-Hujarat, 49:13)
Diversity is a gift meant for us to learn from one another, with righteousness as the true measure of nobility. Latino Muslims, like Ximena, enrich our families with their unique traditions, values, and experiences, while demonstrating that, regardless of cultural background, Islam provides the foundation for mutual respect, love, and understanding.
Ximena’s journey highlights the beauty of blending two rich heritages while keeping Islam at the core of family life. As she and her husband navigate the nuances of an intercultural marriage, their shared commitment to their faith helps them maintain balance and respect. Her story serves as an inspiration for other couples embarking on similar paths, showing how faith, communication, and a deep appreciation for one another’s cultures can create a harmonious and spiritually fulfilling family environment.
You can get to know more about Ximena Linares through her work at WhyIslam by following and supporting them on Instagram @whyislamspanish
Ximena Hernandez was born and raised in Mexico City, studied International Relations at UNAM, and has been Muslim since 2019. She currently works as a Spanish dawah associate and works towards building a common understanding with the Latino community and Islam, including her supportive family.
Wendy Díaz is a Puerto Rican Muslim writer, award-winning poet, translator, and mother of six (ages ranging from infant to teen). She is the co-founder of Hablamos Islam, a non-profit organization that produces educational resources about Islam in Spanish (hablamosislam.org). She has written, illustrated, and published over a dozen children’s books and currently lives with her family in Maryland. Follow Wendy Díaz on social media @authorwendydiaz and @hablamosislam.
Add new comment