The holiday break is a splendid time to rest from the workplace, school, and other commitments. Usually, it is a special time when extended families get together and make the holiday experience more enjoyable and memorable. For some people who don’t have extended family members near, it can also be lonely.
I have never experienced celebrating the holidays with any of my extended family members since they live in different countries. Whenever I heard conversations from my classmates about the phenomenal time they spent with their extended families, it made me wonder about what would have been like for me if they had been closer. Here are six tips to enhance family time during the holidays.
1. Remember Allah.
During the holidays, spend more time gaining a closer connection to Allah by observing voluntary fasts. Parents and older children can fast on Mondays and Thursdays together. It was narrated that ‘Aishah said:
“The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, was keen to fast on Mondays and Thursdays.”
(Tirmidhi, 745)
The significance of fasting during Mondays and Thursdays is mentioned in another hadith. Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Deeds are shown (to Allah) on Mondays and Thursdays, and I like my deeds to be shown when I am fasting.”
(Tirmidhi, 747)
Parents and older children will gain rewards for fasting and increasing consciousness of Allah. On the other hand, if parents have younger children, then the parents can encourage them to fast for half a day. Meanwhile, parents can remind their children of the spiritual and physical benefits of fasting. The voluntary fasting can also increase their awareness of their dependence on Allah and their need for self-discipline. This awareness helps them become more mindful of their actions and thoughts.
The Quran emphasizes the importance of piety in fasting:
"O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed for those before you, so that you may become God -Conscious (and pious)."
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:183)
Fasting helps Muslims practice self-discipline and self-control by resisting their natural desires to consume foods and drinks. This self-control applies to their emotions and thoughts, practicing humility, patience, and anger management.
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“Fasting is a shield; so when one of you is fasting, he should neither indulge in obscene language nor should he raise his voice in anger. If someone attacks him or insults him, let him say: I am fasting, I am fasting!"
(Sahih Muslim)
Muslim families doing voluntary fasting during the holidays is an opportunity for spiritual purification and growth.
2. Connect with the community.
Parents and children are encouraged to volunteer at a local masjid to benefit from the collective remembrance of Allah.
Ibn Umar reported that the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“The most beloved people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to people. The most beloved deed to Allah is to make a Muslim happy, or remove one of his troubles, or forgive his debt, or feed his hunger.”
(Tabaraani)
Parents can encourage their younger and older children to volunteer at local masjids for setting and cleaning up, or if the masjid needs assistance in other tasks. Both older and younger children can volunteer at the local masjid by sweeping, vacuuming, wiping counters, rearranging books on shelves, and picking up garbage. Older and younger children will learn the significance of keeping the masjid clean for others to pray and inviting others to use different services within the masjid. Whenever I volunteered at local masjids during the holidays, it always made me feel better that I volunteered in a local masjid. It was an effective and rewarding experience.
In a hadith narrated by Abu Huraira, Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, heard a woman who used to clean the masjid passed away. He said to his companions:
“‘Why did you not tell me?’ Abu Huraira added, ‘It was as if they considered her insignificant.’ Then, Prophet Muhammad requested to be shown her grave and he prayed over her.”
(Muslim)
Therefore, parents and their children are encouraged to volunteer at the masjid to gain rewards in this life and the hereafter.
In addition, parents can encourage their older children to do volunteer work outside the masjid like a non-profit organization, hospital, or government office. Not only will the older children be serving their community, they will also learn essential job skills and gain work experience they can apply later in life. These types of activities can also earn credits for community service which are often required for high school graduation in many jurisdictions. Older children volunteering at a variety of different places will increase more opportunities for scholarships, free training, and job placements. In addition, your child may decide on an occupation based on their volunteering experience, so parents are encouraged to expose them to a variety of different settings. Along with encouraging older children to be involved in social service projects, remind them about the importance of these deeds and their enormous rewards.
3. Be grateful for who is present.
Instead of parents and their children focusing on spending time with extended family members, be grateful for the people who are around at your home and make the most of your time with each other. There are lots of activities to consider including:
- The entire family can watch an Islamic movie or lecture. One example of a movie to watch as a family is the lives of the Prophets, peace be upon them. For younger audiences, parents can show them animated movies about Islam and other Islamic videos for children. When the Islamic movie ends, make a family reflection by discussing what you’ve learned and how to apply the Islamic principles or lessons in their daily lives.
- Younger children can colour an Islamic design or other type of artwork like designing a Kaaba or colouring an Islamic sheet). Not only will these be informative but they will also be fun!
- Children can also play board games or puzzles together. There are some nice suggestions in these articles:
- Parents and older children can design their homes with an Islamic theme. For example, parents and their older children can put Islamic theme light decorations, rearrange the furniture and kitchen table, and make Islamic theme banners around their home.
4. Watch a movie at a local theatre.
Muslim families can watch movies that are family-friendly at a theatre together. It creates a wonderful opportunity for parents to bond with their children. It’s a chance for everyone to share their viewpoints on the movie and have an open discussion. Also, it helps reduce holiday isolation. During the holidays, my family and I would watch a movie at a local theatre. It was always a delightful experience and a good way to relax together. I always enjoyed discussing the storyline, characters, funny scenes, and memorable quotes with my family members.
5. Try different local malls and restaurants.
Muslim families can explore different malls and restaurants during the holidays. It offers families a chance to break their routines, discover new experiences, and make the season more delightful. Muslim families can try different halal and family-friendly restaurants. Try expanding culinary experiences by trying diverse cuisines and tastes. I have fond memories of my family and I trying different meals from a variety of restaurants. It’s always exciting to enter a new restaurant and be presented with a new layout, design, and people. It made me always cherish the memories with my family.
Also, families can explore local malls together. Families going to local malls is a simple, convenient, and fulfilling experience. Malls have several stores under one location, fun zones for children, and there are several sitting options where no one will bother anyone. My family and I would shop during the holidays. It was a splendid experience going into different stores and being in a clean atmosphere and seeing a variety of different people.
6. Communicate with extended families who live outside of the local area.
The holiday break is also a great time to connect with family members who live in different locales. It is convenient and simple to contact people worldwide using contemporary communication tools like Facebook, WhatsApp, Google Meets, and Zoom. Many of these are free or inexpensive in comparison to the old days when calls were charged by the minute. My mother typically uses Facebook and WhatsApp to contact her family members. She enjoys catching up with them but it can sometimes make her feel lonely and sad that her family members aren't with her. I am not able to communicate much myself due to age and language differences (they speak Arabic and Kurdish) but I communicate via WhatsApp with those who can speak and write in English. While it is different and more meaningful to have face-to-face interactions as opposed to conversing on the phone or websites, using technology is a blessing when communicating with extended relatives worldwide.
By focusing on quality time with family members, parents can create stronger bonds, and strengthen their connection to Allah with their children. There are several ways to enjoy the holidays like volunteering at a local masjid, theatre, malls, and restaurants. With a unique immediate family time together, The holidays can be an opportunity for deepened faith, community involvement, and family bonding. Even when extended families are not present, the love, harmony, and support of immediate families are priceless, which can create a remarkable holiday experience for all.
Amanda Hasan is a graduate of the University of Toronto (Bachelor of Arts) and Humber College (Law Clerk). She is the author of Joyless, an Amazon novella that tells the story of a lonely teenage girl working at an amusement park. More recently, Amanda copyedited several children's stories for Compass Books. She also worked with Muslim Network TV writing scripts, securing guest speakers, and preparing for interviews. Amanda is currently residing in the Greater Toronto Area with her family.
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