“It’s okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers—they help us to learn.” John Bradshaw
Mistakes are a natural part of life and an essential part of learning. Whether it is young children trying to learn new skills, teens navigating challenges, or parents guiding their children and teenagers, everyone experiences moments of frustration when we make mistakes. However, Islam teaches us that mistakes are not failures but opportunities for growth. Through reflection, repentance, and perseverance, we can turn our setbacks into stepping stones toward self-improvement. This article explores how younger children, teens, and parents can manage frustration, learn from their mistakes, and develop a stronger mindset guided by Islamic principles.
For Children: Understanding Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
For younger children, mistakes are important stepping stones on the path to learning and growth. For example, if young children make mistakes like learning to walk, communicate, write, and tie shoelaces, they are given the opportunity to comprehend what didn’t work and the reason. This helps them develop problem-solving skills, learn new approaches, and become more resilient. Instead of feeling discouraged, children can see mistakes as opportunities to improve themselves. Encouraging a growth mindset by reminding them that "mistakes help us improve" helps them embrace challenges with a positive attitude. For example, if a child struggles with spelling or drawing, their mistake shows them where they need practice. With this mindset, children can learn to view mistakes not as failures, but as valuable lessons that help them become better and stronger.
Islamic Story of Prophet Yunus or Jonah (AS) – Accepting mistakes and returning to Allah
Allah tells us about Prophet Yunus (AS) and how he faced frustration, made a mistake, and turned to Allah for forgiveness:
The Quran states:
“And [mention] the man of the fish (Yunus), when he went off in anger and thought that We would not decree [anything] upon him. And he called out within the darkness, ‘There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers.’ So We responded to him and saved him from distress. And thus do We save the believers.”
(Surah Al-Anbiya 21:87-88)
Prophet Yunus became frustrated with his people when they refused to listen to his message, so he left without waiting for Allah’s command. He went to a ship, but soon the sea became turbulent, and the sailors decided to select sticks to determine who was the cause of the trouble. The sticks fell upon Prophet Yunus, and he willingly threw himself into the sea. As he dived into the water, a large whale, sent by Allah, swallowed Prophet Yunus. Inside the belly of the whale which was in complete darkness, Prophet Yunus realized his mistake and turned to Allah in remorse and praying for forgiveness. Moreover, this shows us that acknowledging our mistakes is the first step toward overcoming frustration. This story teaches us that mistakes do not define us, but our response to them does. When we feel stressed, instead of giving in to frustration, we should turn to Allah in dua, seek forgiveness, and trust that He will guide us toward a better path. He will help us when we sincerely seek His help.
Practical Ways to Overcome Frustration When Making Mistakes
- Taking a deep breath and saying Bismillah before retrying. Take deep breaths to relax emotional outbursts.
- Making dua for patience and understanding. Allahumma a’inni ‘ala as-sabri, waj‘alni hadi’an wa mutafahhiman. Translation: “O Allah, help me to be patient, and make me calm and understanding.” This dua is simple and brief for younger children to memorize. It encourages them to ask Allah for patience while also reminding them to stay calm and think clearly.
- Positive self-talk: Use positive statements to help in moments of frustration. Try “I can do hard things!” or “I’m a problem solver.” Practice these statements when your child is calm so they can remember them when frustrated.
- Draw a picture. Have your child draw the problem or make a picture of their feelings. When they finish, ask if they want to talk about what they’ve created.
- Play with play dough or clay. Squeezing, separating or rolling play dough can help your child let out strong feelings.
- Have a snack: A quick snack break can help them feel better.
- Go outside: A brief walk or a few minutes of play in the fresh air can help a frustrated child by being in a different environment that caused their frustration in the first place.
For Teens: Bouncing Back from Mistakes Applying Patience and Trust in Allah
“Patience is not simply the ability to wait but how well you behave while you’re waiting” – Joyce Meyer
Patience draws us closer to Allah. Patience is your ability to wait without becoming annoyed, upset, or impatient. Being patient allows us to take wise solutions in dealing with problems, without hurrying, or having intense emotions. Patience helps us control ourselves. When we feel upset, patience teaches us to internalize our behaviour and prevent impulsive or harmful actions to ourselves and others.
It involves regulating your emotions and understanding the situation that you’re in. When you’re being patient, you’re thinking about long-term not short-term consequences.
The Quran states about the importance of patience:
“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.”
Surah Al-Baqarah (2:153)
This verse reminds us that when we are patient in having hardships and difficulties, we draw closer to Allah. Patience is one strategy to strengthen faith and our relationship with Allah.
For example, a teenager being enrolled in a difficult course may feel frustrated when he or she struggles to understand a concept. Rather than giving up, the adolescent can practice patience by taking breaks, making dua for ease, and getting help from a teacher or a classmate ahead of time. By staying calm and consistent, they will improve over time and see the reward of their academic effort.
Patience is very important trait to have in our lives because it allows a person to remain healthy over a long period of time. Being a patient individual helps manage your emotions so that your well-being stays strong such as having fewer headaches, ulcers, and acne. Also, people practicing patience may have less negative feelings because of being more prepared to managing more difficult and stressful life moments. Patience helps with well-being and mental health.
Importance and Benefits of Tawakkul (Trust and Reliance on Allah)
Tawakkul is our belief and behaviour about placing trust in Allah to take care of all our matters of our lives.
The Quran states:
“And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever places his trust in Allah, Sufficient is He for him, for Allah will surely accomplish His Purpose: For verily, Allah has appointed for all things a due proportion.”
(Surah At-Talaq 65:3)
This verse means to rely and depend on Allah because He is the Best Sustainer and He will help us in hard times and surely He will protect us.
Tawakkul is very important belief to have in our lives because it connects to Allah. The more we rely on Him, the likelihood that we will try to satisfy Him by abiding the rules He has given us, which in turn will lead to goodness in this life and success in the afterlife. Also, we are not disappointed by what was lost or forgetful by our success. All things belong to Allah. It makes us humbler and more obedient to Allah, thus becoming better believers. For example, if an adolescent is applying for a job or university, the teen can trust Allah by making dua, doing their best, and believing in His plan. If they don’t get what they wanted, they remain steadfast, knowing Allah has a better plan for them.
Prophet Yusuf or Joseph (AS) – Patience and Trust in Allah
He was the son of Prophet Yaqub or Jacob (AS), and Yusuf (AS) was known for his compassion and attractiveness. Prophet Yaqub (AS) adored him very much, which made his half-brothers envious. As a result, they threw him into a well. However, Allah had another plan for Yusuf.
A passing caravan found Yusuf in the well and took him with them. He was sold as a slave in Egypt. Meanwhile, Allah blessed him with intelligence and experience. Despite having several hardships, Yusuf remained faithful and steadfast to Allah.
The story of Prophet Yusuf teaches us about the importance of reliance, patience, and repentance in Allah's plan. It demonstrates that even facing obstacles, keeping faith and having compassion can lead to positive results.
The Quran states:
"Indeed, whoever fears Allah and is patient—then indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good."
(Surah Yusuf 12:90)
This verse describes how Prophet Yusuf (AS) remained patient and trusted Allah’s plan, ultimately receiving honor and success.
Practical Steps to Overcome Frustration from Mistakes
- Avoid negative self-talk—remind yourself that mistakes don’t define you.
- Seek repentance from Allah and reflect on what can be mended.
- Journal: If you’re experiencing a type of frustration where you can’t even think calmly, try writing (or typing) it all out. It can help process a hard situation and relax your mind so you can approach the dilemma with more clarity.
- Get outside: Spend some time in your backyard, go for a walk around the block or to your favorite local park.
- Distract yourself: Try doing an activity that requires focus for example reading or puzzle.
- Get creative: Painting, illustrating, poetry, and other art expressions are effective approaches to redirect your anger into something interesting. Art is a wonderful tool for emotional expression.
For Parents: Dealing with Personal Mistakes and Setbacks—Self-Forgiveness & Growth Through an Islamic Perspective
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new” – Albert Einstein
Mistakes are part of being human, and parents proceed to learn and grow. There is a fear of making mistakes (or FOMM). This fear is a repressive drive caused by unreachable perfectionistic expectations that result in the individual giving up and not participating in an activity or an endeavour (like a job promotion, relationship, or cooking). Also, FOMM can prevent a parent from learning and growing. Making mistakes means someone is learning. Mistakes are necessary in life and learning to appreciate them allows growth and discovery.
Worrying about other people’s opinions has been mixed throughout these FOMM problems. People are imperfect and they make mistakes too. Don’t use another person’s possible opinion as a reason for making or not making a mistake. Moreover, don’t keep ruminating their insults in your mind either.
Allow yourself to make mistakes by reciting a motto that improves you. In order to separate my self-worth from critique, One can repeat this message verbatim, “Any issue, hardship, or failure is a good occurrence. It does not define my capability or intelligence. Like a baby, I will be resilient and retry until I succeed.”
Islam encourages tawbah (repentance) and self-improvement as oppose to ruminating on guilt.
It is reported in a hadith from Anas ibn Malik (RA):
“All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best among them are those who repent.”
(Tirmidhi)
This hadith teaches that everybody makes mistakes, but the best people request forgiveness and enhance their actions. Allah loves those who admit their wrongdoings and strive to improve themselves.
Lessons from the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) and the Companions
It is reported in a hadith from Abu Huraira (RA):
A man entered the mosque and prayed very fast. After finishing, he greeted Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), who told him, "Go back and pray, for you have not prayed properly." This happened thrice prior he patiently taught the man the right approach to perform salah with correct concentration and movements.
(Sahih al-Bukhari)
Practical Steps to Overcome Frustration from Mistakes
- Engaging in istighfar (seeking forgiveness) to clean the heart and mind.
- Holding yourself responsible while preventing ruminations.
- Using mistakes as learning experiences instead of personal setbacks.
- Applying self-compassion by concentrating on enhancement instead of embarrassment.
- Making dua for guidance and strength to overcome obstacles.
- Leading by example— teaching children that parents learn from their mistakes and learn too.
Overcoming frustration takes patience, reflection, and reliance in Allah’s plan. Mistakes help us grow, and seeking forgiveness strengthens our faith. Overcoming frustration requires a calm mind and a willingness to learn from hardships. By staying resilient and concentrating on solutions, we can turn difficulties into opportunities for growth. Islam teaches that mistakes are not final —what matters most is learning, growing, and seeking forgiveness.
- The Magic of Mistakes | Office of Teaching & Learning
- 18 Ways to Cope with Frustration | Mental Health America
- 20 Activities to Help Your Child Manage… | PBS KIDS for Parents
- The Importance of Patience in Life: 8 Benefits
- Importance and Benefits of Tawakkul | Trust and Reliance on Allah - Islamic Articles
- The Benefits of Patience in Islam and Its Extraordinary Wisdom - Dompet Dhuafa
- How to Get More Comfortable Being Wrong | Shine
- Overcoming Fear of Making Mistakes | Psychology Today
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Writer Bio:
Amanda Hasan is a graduate of the University of Toronto (Bachelor of Arts) and Humber College (Law Clerk). She is the author of Joyless, an Amazon novella that tells the story of a lonely teenage girl working at an amusement park. More recently, Amanda copyedited several children's stories for Compass Books. She also worked with Muslim Network TV writing scripts, securing guest speakers, and preparing for interviews. Amanda is currently residing in the Greater Toronto Area with her family.
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