Since Ramadan is around the corner, this is the perfect time to focus on creating an atmosphere that makes this blessed month meaningful, memorable, and exciting for our children. How we make Ramadan special will depend largely on their level of participation. Their ages and abilities will determine whether they are ready to partake in fasting, but all children can still experience the beauty and joy of Ramadan when we cultivate a warm and festive ambiance in our homes. Cleaning and decorating the house to welcome Ramadan will help them get into the spirit of the season. Make every effort to design a spiritually uplifting environment as time gets closer because what we create for them now will shape their connection to Ramadan for years to come.
Young children are not required to fast until they reach the age of adolescence, so their participation in prayer and fasting should only be considered as training. Children in their tweens, who are just beginning to fast, will need plenty of encouragement so that they view fasting as an exciting milestone rather than a burden. Older children, who are more accustomed to fasting, will also benefit from extra motivation so that they continue to build positive habits throughout the month. The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, stated, “The pens have been lifted from three: from one who has lost his mind until he comes back to his senses, from one who is sleeping until he wakes up, and from a child until he reaches the age of adolescence” (Abu Dawud, 4399).
When dealing with the youth, we must remind ourselves that for them, holidays are not only about spiritual obligations, but also about fun, laughter, and gifts. With these considerations in mind, here are some ways that we can make Ramadan extra special for our children, no matter their age:
1. Explaining the Virtues of Fasting
From toddlers to 7 years: Use storytelling to explain why we fast in a way that excites them. Picture books, puppet shows, or even animated videos can make lessons more engaging. Explain that fasting is a special gift from Allah that helps us grow closer to Him. It will be important to establish that meaningful connection with Allah with our children early so they aim to please Him and earn good deeds. Having that loving relationship will make it easier for them to enjoy performing acts of worship like prayer and fasting.
8-14 years: Discuss the virtues of fasting using relatable examples. Tell them stories about when you began fasting and what it was like for you in those days. Highlight real-life benefits like self-discipline, patience, and gratitude. Share short hadiths and Quranic verses, explaining their meanings in an easy-to-understand way.
14+ years: Encourage deeper reflection by discussing the spiritual benefits of fasting. Have open discussions about self-restraint, the significance of purification, and how fasting develops empathy for the less fortunate. Since older children are becoming more independent, let them lead conversations and offer them compliments. Let them know you are proud of what they are doing to fill them with a sense of pride and fulfillment.
2. Getting Them Used to Fasting
Toddlers to 7 years: Introduce the concept of fasting by having them "fast" from snacks or certain treats for a short time. Praise them for their effort and slowly build anticipation for when they can complete a fasting period. Depending on their age, some children may want to feel like “grown-ups” and participate in the Ramadan fast. Allow them to test it out for a couple of hours, like from the time they wake up until noon if they are not in school.
8-14 years: Some scholars say ten is the age when children should start fasting regularly based on the hadith in which the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“Instruct your children to pray when they are seven years old and punish them if they do not pray when they are ten years old and separate them in their beds.” (Abu Dawud, 459)
As such, begin encouraging half-day fasts or alternate-day fasting before that time, gradually increasing their endurance. Offer positive reinforcement, making them feel proud of their progress. Once they get to the age of ten, they will be used to fasting and it will be easier for them to do it on a regular basis.
14+ years: When a child hits puberty, they are considered an adult, and capable of fasting the month of Ramadan, if they are healthy and fulfill the other requirements necessary. Guide them toward completing full fasts while reminding them of the importance of sincerity. Encourage them to set personal goals, such as aiming for all 30 days if possible and reading more Quran.
3. Waking Up for Suhur as a Family
Toddlers to 7 years: Make Suhur fun by setting up a cozy family gathering with their favorite foods. Let them wear pajamas with Ramadan-themed designs and listen to Quran and nasheeds while eating.
8-14 years: Involve them in planning the menu and preparing Suhur, letting them choose what they want to eat. Teach them the importance of Suhur by reading corresponding hadith about its blessings.
14+ years: Encourage independence by letting them set up alarm clocks, wake up on their own, prepare their own Suhur, and remind others to wake up. Those actions will instill a sense of responsibility and make them feel like they are adults.
4. Offering Rewards for Fasting and Good Behavior
Toddlers to 7 years: There are many creative ways you can motivate children during the month of Ramadan. Create a sticker chart or “fasting certificate” they can add to each time they complete a fasting challenge. Even half-day fasts can earn small rewards. The same can be applied to daily prayers, Quran reading, and memorization.
8-14 years: Offer daily or weekly rewards, such as special treats or extra playtime. Make fasting feel like an achievement rather than an obligation. Alternately, let them earn “points” that can be tallied at the end of the week or month for a prize.
14+ years: As kids get older, begin shifting from material rewards to spiritual encouragement, such as recognizing their perseverance and discussing the rewards they receive from Allah. It also helps to show them the physical benefits of fasting so they can connect the worldly and spiritual advantages to acts of worship.
5. Making Fasting Fun
Toddlers to 7 years: Occupy your children in activities like arts and crafts, storytelling, or outdoor play to keep their minds off hunger. Organize fun games related to Ramadan, such as a “who can recite the most duas?” challenge. Keep competition lighthearted. Give them coloring pages and activity books related to Ramadan and Eid.
8-14 years: Although exercise and staying active is highly encouraged for children, fasting may likely slow them down. Suggest light activities like reading, board games, or helping with household chores. Teach children that patience and minding our tongue is part of fasting. Create friendly fasting challenges among siblings or friends, tracking who fasts the most days. Offer small prizes for motivation.
14+ years: Invite your older children to join you in acts of worship, like reading Quran, making dhikr, or listening to Islamic lectures, so they can use their time wisely. Limit distractions like handheld devices, computers, and television. Ask them to track their good deeds or try journaling to encourage accountability.
6. Visiting the Masjid Regularly
Toddlers to 7 years: Take your children to the masjid for short visits and let them see the community spirit of Ramadan. If you decide to bring them along for iftar and tarawih, pack up some coloring books, crayons, and toys to keep them busy.
8-14 years: As children get older, they can attend iftar and Tarawih at the masjid occasionally and interact with other young fasters. They will be happy to get to spend time with their friends outside regular daytime hours. Allow them to roam with friends, but stay respectful to the masjid environment.
14+ years: Make attending the masjid a regular habit for older kids, possibly involving them in youth activities or volunteering opportunities. Serving food during iftar or helping with clean-up will help them understand the hard work it takes to maintain order in the masjid during Ramadan.
7. Rewarding Them with Treats After Iftar/Tarawih
Toddlers to 7 years: Make iftar special with children’s favorite foods and a small dessert as a surprise. If you are taking the kiddos to tarawih, you can alternatively keep that treat saved in your arsenal until afterwards. Your children will be excited and motivated about the next day’s fast and activities.
8-14 years: Take them for a fun post-iftar outing, like getting ice cream or a favorite snack. Let them choose at least one iftar meal during the week or ask them what kind of treat they would like for dessert.
14+ years: Older kids may want to hang out with friends after iftar or if they are going to the masjid. For them, that may be a treat. Allow them to move about freely but encourage them to pray together. After tarawih, ask them if they need anything and make a quick run to the convenience store if necessary.
Although I have offered tips for children of all ages, remember that Ramadan should be a team effort for families. Get together with your loved ones, make a plan, set goals, and get ready to be spiritually uplifted. Allow your children to be part of the process of preparation by letting them help with the décor and necessary shopping. Getting everyone involved will stir up more excitement and anticipation. Make every effort to set the tone of our Muslim holiday season. When we make Ramadan a special time of celebration and togetherness, our children will look back on these memories with fondness and nostalgia.
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