Over the past two decades, and especially during and after the trauma of the COVID-19 pandemic, there has been an increasing interest in self-love and methods of self-care. Mental health experts, content creators, and influencers have taken to social media platforms like Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok to post video tutorials and reels suggesting healing techniques such as meditation, journaling, guided breathing, spa treatments, and other types of “me time.” This trend particularly appeals to overworked adults and stressed adolescents who are at an increased risk of burnout and mental health problems. They are encouraged to take a step back to care for themselves by finding outlets to help them relax and decompress. While there are positive aspects to this movement, it can also be overwhelming, unrealistic, expensive, and dismissive of serious psychological issues. From an Islamic perspective, self-love does not necessarily mean engaging in trendy rituals or becoming self-absorbed; rather, it begins with recognizing and nurturing our spiritual connection to our Creator.
Self-love is the recognition and appreciation of all aspects of ourselves, including both our internal and external attributes. In his famous Alchemy of Happiness, Imam Al-Ghazzali, may Allah have mercy on him, argued that the key to the knowledge of God is knowledge of one’s own self. He said, “There is nothing closer to you than you. If you do not know yourself, how can you know anything else?” To know who we are, we must seek the truth about our origin and purpose, the answers of which lie in Divine revelation. Allah says in the Quran,
“Indeed, ˹it is˺ We ˹Who˺ created humankind and ˹fully˺ know what their souls whisper to them, and We are closer to them than ˹their˺ jugular vein.”
(Surah Qaf, 50:16)
The Quran teaches us to seek the signs of Allah's creation not only in the vast universe but also within ourselves. This introspection and recognition of divine signs in our own existence elevates our sense of self-worth and value. By acknowledging that we are reflections of Allah’s creation, we come to understand our inherent dignity and significance. This awareness encourages us to appreciate our unique qualities and the purpose we serve, both individually and as part of the collective whole of creation. Allah says:
“We will show them Our signs in the universe and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that this ˹Quran˺ is the truth. Is it not enough that your Lord is a Witness over all things?” (Surah Fussilat, 41:53)
Self-Love and Finding Purpose in Life
Even atheists recognize the greatness of creation. They observe the intricate systems within every living thing and marvel at the wonders of the universe. They attribute these phenomena to nature and chance, often explaining them through the concept of survival of the fittest. In acknowledging that the creatures who remain on Earth are here because they are special or superior, they also accept that everything has a role and purpose. Just as a fly is important to decomposition or a bee is essential for pollination, there is a balance in this world with everything in it fulfilling its task. Atheists understand this equilibrium and may find self-worth in their survival and existence.
Believers, however, see the world through the lens of a higher purpose. Islam teaches that our existence is not a product of chance but a deliberate act of creation by Allah. We are meant to be here. The primary reason for our creation, according to Islam, is to worship and serve our Creator. Allah says,
“I did not create jinn and humans except to worship Me.”
(Surah Adh-Dhariyat, 51:56)
This belief provides a profound sense of worth and direction, guiding us to live lives that reflect our devotion and gratitude to our Creator. While others may love themselves for their worldly life and achievements, this self-love is superficial and flawed. Believers find fulfillment in aligning their lives with the divine purpose set forth by Allah. In Islam, everything is designed to make us content, satisfied, and safeguarded. Even pleasing Allah and following Islamic principles are for our benefit. Thus, true self-love involves seeking out the Creator, following His religion, and believing in and obeying all the prophets, from Adam to Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon them. By doing so, we protect ourselves in this world and the hereafter. Loving ourselves then becomes an act of self-preservation that encompasses both our life on earth and after death.
Our lives are a precious gift, and Allah has honored us above His other creations. Allah teaches us to love who we are through education, worship, and constant reminders. The first word revealed in the Quran, Iqra or “Read!” encourages us to use our intellect and nurture our sense of curiosity. This guidance underlines the importance of seeking knowledge and understanding ourselves and our surroundings. When Allah created Adam as the first human being, He taught him the names of all things, distinguishing him from other creatures and highlighting the special status of human beings. Additionally, Allah taught Adam and his wife how to seek forgiveness for their mistakes, acknowledging that human nature is prone to error. The couple’s shortcoming – eating from the forbidden tree – did not render them inherently evil but demonstrated their capacity for redemption and growth. This narrative teaches us that our flaws and mistakes are part of our humanity and opportunities for learning and improvement. Therefore, we can love ourselves by recognizing our intrinsic worth, seeking knowledge, embracing our flaws, and striving for self-improvement – a lesson especially crucial for our younger generation.
Self-Care in Islam
As far as self-care is concerned, Islam encourages believers to love themselves through a balanced approach that integrates spiritual, physical, and emotional well-being. Here are just a few ways:
1. Recognize one’s worth.
As previously mentioned, Islam teaches that every individual is a unique creation of Allah, worthy of respect and dignity. This recognition fosters self-respect and self-worth. Nowadays, self-care gurus repackage Islamic and prophetic teachings and sell them as self-help books, but a quick search through the Quran and books of hadith will show an abundance of beautiful duas that teach self-love. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, used to make this powerful supplication:
“O Allah, as You have made my creation beautiful, make my character beautiful.”
(Musnad Ahmad)
2. Make a spiritual connection.
The primary source of self-love in Islam is the relationship with Allah. Regular prayer (Salah), recitation of the Quran, and remembrance (Dhikr) are practices that strengthen this bond, provide inner peace, and prepare a person for their ultimate destiny. Allah says in the Quran,
“Have they not reflected upon their own being? Allah only created the heavens and the earth and everything in between for a purpose and an appointed term. Yet most people are truly in denial of the meeting with their Lord!”
(Surah Ar-Rum, 30:8)
3. Consider self-care is worship.
Taking care of one's body and mind is considered an act of worship. Maintaining good health, eating nutritious food, getting enough sleep, and engaging in physical activity are encouraged as they enable a person to fulfill their religious duties and serve others effectively. The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, would integrate worship into his every part of his day and continuously supplicate to Allah for improvement – this was the prophetic self-care. Imagine the difference it would make to implement the same habits in our lives and those of our families.
Ibn Abbas reported that he spent the night with the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. When he woke up. The Prophet cleansed his teeth, performed ablution, the call to prayer was announced, and he went out for the prayer while he was saying,
“O Allah, place light in my heart and light on my tongue. Place light in my hearing and light in my seeing. Place light behind me and light in front of me. Place light above me and light below me. O Allah, grant me light!”
(Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)
4. Seek forgiveness and mercy.
Self-love is about being easy on ourselves. Islam emphasizes the importance of forgiving oneself for past mistakes and seeking Allah’s forgiveness. This principle helps in letting go of guilt and fostering a positive self-image. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said in a hadith qudsi,
“Allah the Almighty said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it. (At-Tirmidhi)
5. Gather community and support.
Islam encourages believers to be part of a supportive community. Social bonds and helping others in need not only benefit the community but also contribute to a sense of belonging and self-worth. How much we love ourselves is reflected in how we treat our fellow human beings. Allah says,
“The believers are but one brotherhood, so make peace between your brothers. And be mindful of Allah so you may be shown mercy.”
(Surah Al-Hujarat, 49:10)
6. Find balance in life.
Sometimes, in our endless quest for perfection and productivity, we end up losing ourselves. We tend to forget that Islam promotes a balanced life in worship, work, and leisure, so that individuals do not neglect any aspect of their wellbeing. When the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, found out that one of his followers, Uthman Ibn Mazh’un, was going to extremes in his worship by fasting and praying continuously and renouncing women, he cautioned him by saying:
“Verily, I sleep and I pray, I fast and I break my fast, and I marry women. Fear Allah, O Uthman, for your family has rights over you and your guest has rights over you. Verily, your own self has rights over you, so fast and break your fast, pray and sleep.”
(Sunan Abi Dawud)
7. Avoid harmful behaviors.
Islam advises against harmful thoughts and behaviors, such as excessive worry, negative self-talk, and indulgence in unhealthy habits. Instead, it encourages positive thinking, patience (Sabr), and trust in Allah's plan (Tawakkul). Negative self-talk is especially damaging for teens, and if left unchecked, it can become ingrained in their conscience into adulthood. However, by practicing positive parenting and instilling prophetic teachings, parents can help their children combat self-deprecating inner dialogue. It is crucial for parents, teachers, and caregivers to remind children of their inherently good nature, despite any mistakes they make. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, advised his followers:
“None of you should say: My soul has been wicked. Rather, let him say: My soul has faulted.”
(Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)
Through these teachings, Islam guides believers to a holistic form of self-love that encompasses spiritual fulfillment, self-respect, and physical and emotional well-being. Our journey towards self-love is deeply rooted in our spiritual connection with Allah and understanding His guidance for leading a fulfilling life. Allah says in the Quran:
“Indeed, We have dignified the children of Adam, carried them on land and sea, granted them good and lawful provisions, and privileged them far above many of Our creatures.”
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:70)
By internalizing these words, we come to love ourselves as the remarkable creations we are. We can also model this self-love for our families to build a community rooted in goodness. If we ever fall into despair or struggle to recognize our value, we can seek refuge in the Quran and Sunnah, and find solace in our ultimate meeting with the Most High.
Wendy Díaz is a Puerto Rican Muslim writer, award-winning poet, translator, and mother of six (ages ranging from infant to teen). She is the co-founder of Hablamos Islam, a non-profit organization that produces educational resources about Islam in Spanish (hablamosislam.org). She has written, illustrated, and published over a dozen children’s books and currently lives with her family in Maryland. Follow Wendy Díaz on social media @authorwendydiaz and @hablamosislam.
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