Dear Muslim Girls: Advice from the Heart

Do you know how blessed you really are? You were chosen to come into this world for a great purpose by a Divine Creator Who wants you to succeed. He has given you tools to help you during this journey called life – a believing soul, a perfect body to house it in, a special talent that you have yet to discover, and the force of your faith. With these gifts, you will change the world. Other women have come and gone, provided their advice for girls, and passed on this torch which you now carry. Some of them we know well while others worked in the shadows, yet they all left their indelible mark in history. You will do the same. Whatever legacy you choose to leave behind for the future generations of women is up to you.

As you grow into the powerful woman you will become, I have some advice. I will not pretend to know what you will go through, for everyone’s journey is unique. I offer these recommendations not based solely on my own experiences, but from the words of Divine love in the Quran. No matter what society dictates or what men on pulpits or behind podiums may say that contradict it, remember you hold an honorable place with your Lord. All human beings will equally be held accountable for their actions, and no deed will go unnoticed. Allah, the Most Just, says in the Quran, 

“Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so – for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.”

(Surah al-Ahzab, 33:35) 

I advise you as a daughter, mother, and friend just as Luqman advised his son.  

Keep your duty to Allah. 

And ˹remember˺ when Luqman said to his son, while advising him, ‘O my dear son! Never associate ˹anything˺ with Allah ˹in worship˺, for associating ˹others with Him˺ is truly the worst of all wrongs.’” (Surah Luqman, 31:12-13)

Be obedient to the One Who Created you, as you are obedient to your parents. Before you knew your parents, it was Allah who nurtured you and He continues to sustain you, so be grateful. Show your gratitude by worshipping Him alone and following His commandments. Know that He is in control no matter how much the disbelievers try to ignore Him out of existence. They are like dogs chasing their tails – going in circles to explain things that only Allah has knowledge of. 

Honor your parents and you will be honored.

“And We have commanded people to ˹honor˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return. But if they pressure you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. Still keep their company in this world courteously and follow the way of those who turn to Me ˹in devotion˺. Then to Me you will ˹all˺ return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do.” 

(Surah Luqman, 31:14-15) 

Think not of this verse as an admonition, but as a recognition. Allah mentions mothers to elevate their status. As women, we are caretakers, whether we are meant to be biological mothers or educators. We are still here to nurture and love in a way that no other creation is capable of.   

Keep busy in righteousness: 

˹Luqman added,˺ “O my dear son! ˹Even˺ if a deed were the weight of a mustard seed – be it ˹hidden˺ in a rock or in the heavens or the earth – Allah will bring it forth. Surely Allah is Most Subtle, All-Aware. O my dear son! Establish prayer, encourage what is good and forbid what is evil, and endure patiently whatever befalls you. Surely this is a resolve to aspire to.” 

(Surah Luqman, 31:16-17)

Do not lose yourself in the glitter and glam of social and mainstream media meant to distract you from your purpose. Those who seek to unveil you are the ones whose eyes and hearts have been veiled and blinded by their own lack of faith. They speak about liberating women when they are really calling you to free yourself from your purpose and lead a life of heedlessness. But know that wandering this world without a compass will lead you to nowhere but ruin. 

As humanity’s time on this Earth nears an inevitable end, you will be faced with difficult trials. Hold on to your faith even if it seems like you are walking through fire. Push through the pressure imposed on you by your foes and your own fears. Persist, because the fire of Hell prepared for disbelievers is nothing like the heat we experience in this life. Similarly, the warmth of Paradise will feel better than any comfort you have ever known. Any hardships you endure will serve to mold you into a stronger version of yourself. 

Be proud, but never arrogant. 

“And do not turn your nose up to people, nor walk pridefully upon the earth. Surely Allah does not like whoever is arrogant, boastful. Be moderate in your pace. And lower your voice, for the ugliest of all voices is certainly the braying of donkeys.” 

(Surah Luqman, 31:18-19)

You are powerful. You have enjoyed rights under Islam that women outside of our faith have only received in the last hundred years. You are stronger than you know. Allah made us that way to be the bearers of life and light in this world. 

Never let anyone make you feel less of a human for having faith. The haters prefer to wander aimlessly while you are here on a mission with a set of instructions. I know that this world may bring you down to your knees, but that is the best place to pray. Humble yourself in front of your Lord and place your forehead on the ground to seek His aid. When life knocks you down, you will rise again. You were meant to be a beacon of light for the people closest to you. Call upon Allah often with His beautiful names and attributes, and make Prophetic supplications such as this duaa of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him: 

“O Allah, place light in my heart and light on my tongue. Place light in my hearing and light in my seeing. Place light behind me and light in front of me. Place light above me and light below me. O Allah, grant me light!”

 (Bukhari, Muslim) 

Speak up. 

With your light, you will raise nations and train champions. Whether you know it or not, your example will endure even after your passing, immortalized in your deeds and offspring. So, own it, my dear Muslim girls; own the gifts Allah gave you and use them in His cause. Being vocal does not necessarily mean going out and holding up a sign or stepping on a stage. Let your Muslim identity speak for you. People will see the beauty of Islam through your practice.

If you are exercising your faith proudly and you love Islam, talk about it, teach about it, write about it, and share your stories. Start with your families and branch out to the community. Unfortunately, others with evil agendas are trying to tell our stories for us –

• they say we are unhappy
• they say we are oppressed
• they say we have no rights
• they say we are not educated
• they say we are only Muslim because this religion has been imposed on us
• they say we are submissive to men rather than to Allah! 

Raise your voices and tell them. NO, you do not speak for me! You do not get to silence me under the guise of liberation. I am a Muslim and proud to take up space even if that makes other people uncomfortable. This is our story to tell. 

May Allah keep you and your progeny steadfast until the Day of Judgement. Ameen.

Wendy Díaz is a Puerto Rican Muslim writer, award-winning poet, translator, and mother of six. She is the co-founder of Hablamos Islam, Inc., a non-profit organization that produces educational resources about Islam and culture in Spanish. She is also the Spanish content coordinator for the Islamic Circle of North America’s WhyIslam Project and has also written, illustrated, and published a dozen children’s books. Díaz lives with her husband and family in Maryland.