Understanding Divorce in Islam

A marriage and a possible divorce involve more people than just the two spouses. Divorce is a difficult time for the entire family.  It affects children, parents, and extended family.

To comprehend what Islam says about divorce we must first look at what it says about marriage. According to our religion, marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman and is prescribed by our Creator. The purpose of marriage is to foster a state of tranquility, love, and compassion. There are many verses in the Quran and countless hadiths that encourage marriage for any single man or woman - of any age or background. Marriage is not merely a contract between two partners before a court but more greatly a covenant to be solemnly honored before Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most High.

The Quranic image of marriage is that of a tightly woven covenant. Interestingly, the image of a tightly woven covenant is that it is the same phrase the Quran uses to describe the agreement between Allah and the prophets to deliver the Divine message to people.

“And ˹remember˺ when We took a covenant from the prophets, as well as from you ˹O Prophet˺, and from Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus, son of Mary. We did take a tightly woven covenant from ˹all of˺ them.” 

(Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:7)

Moreover, the same word used to refer to the sacred duty of delivering Allah’s message refers to the spousal agreement to honor their marital relation before Allah (Surah An-Nisa, 4:20). This Quranic usage indicates that entering into a married relationship is a solemn journey that must remain pure and sanctified. Furthermore, the phrase tightly woven communicates to us the idea that marriages are meant initially to constitute lifelong relations that are too strong to untie.

Divorce is decreed by Allah but it should be noted that, out of all of the things that Allah has made permissible, divorce is the one He hates the most. It was also narrated that the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

"Allah has not created on the face of this Earth anything more beloved by Him than freeing a slave, and He has not created anything on the face of this Earth more despised than divorce." 

(Bukhari and Muslim)

Couples need to look at several alternatives before turning to this drastic measure. Generally, the couple needs to make a sincere and concerted effort to try and work things out before a divorce is considered. The first step is to seek the help of older, wiser, and trustworthy elders and scholars who will try to help them resolve their differences. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“If there appears to be discord between a wife and her husband and if they desire reconciliation, then choose arbiters from the families of both sides. Allah will bring them together; Allah is All-Knowing and All-Aware.” 

(Surah An-Nisa, 4:35)

The next step is to wait a cooling-off period, this is stated clearly in the Quran:

“Those who intend to divorce their wives shall wait four months (cooling off); if they change their minds and reconcile, then Allah is Forgiver, Merciful. If they go through with the divorce, then Allah is Hearer, Knower.” 

 (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:226-227)

The waiting period helps to prevent hasty terminations due to anger and allows time for both parties to reconsider as well as to see if the wife is pregnant. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period is lengthened until she delivers the baby. At any point during this time, the husband and wife are free to resume their conjugal relationship; thereby, ending the divorce process. During this waiting period, the husband remains financially responsible for the support of his wife.

After all attempts of resolving disputes between the spouses have failed divorce IS permissible. Allah provides general guidelines in the Quran Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:224-237 for the process of divorce with emphasis on both parties upholding the values of justice and kindness in formalizing the end of their marriage. There must be two equitable witnesses to witness the divorce to verify that the parties have fulfilled all of their obligations.

Guidelines for Divorce

• A husband cannot take back the dowry or any gifts he has given her during the marriage unless it is returned from her own free will. (Surah An-Nisa, 4:6)

• Many Muslims are surprised to learn that Allah states in two separate verses that a woman is allowed to stay in her home if she chooses.

“If you divorce the women, once they fulfill their interim (three menstruations), you shall allow them to live in the same home amicably, or let them leave amicably. Do not force them to stay against their will, as a revenge. Anyone who does this wrongs his own soul. Do not take Allah's revelations in vain. Remember Allah's blessings upon you, and that He sent down to you the scripture and wisdom to enlighten you. You shall observe Allah, and know that Allah is aware of all things.” 

(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:231)

“You shall allow them to live in the same home in which they lived with you, and do not make life so miserable for them that they leave on their own. If they are pregnant, you shall spend on them until they give birth. If they nurse the infant, you shall pay them for this service. You shall maintain the amicable relations among you. If you disagree, you may hire another woman to nurse the child.”  

(Surat At-Talaq, 65:6)   

• And the Quran states that divorced women shall be provided alimony as well. Allah states in the Noble Quran:

“The rich husband shall provide support in accordance with his means, and the poor shall provide according to the means that Allah bestowed upon him. Allah does not impose on any soul more than He has given it. Allah will provide ease after difficulty.” 

(Surat At-Talaq, 65:7)   

“Those who die and leave wives, a will shall provide their wives with support for a year, provided they stay within the same household. If they leave, you commit no sin by letting them do whatever they wish, so long as righteousness is maintained. Allah is Almighty, Most Wise. The divorcees also shall be provided for, equitably. This is a duty upon the righteous.”  

(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:240-241)

The previous instances are common when the husband divorces his wife. But in cases where the wife seeks divorce, known as khulu, the only difference is that in such a situation she will demand a divorce from her husband. If the husband refuses, she has the right to take the matter to the court. The matter will then be decided by the ruling of the court. 

Alhamdulillah, all praise and thanks belong to Allah, Islam provides comprehensive guidance in the matter of both marriage and divorce. In both, spouses are required to treat the other kindly and with respect. 

Miriam Mohamed is a mother to seven children and a granny to two cats!  She loves trying new things and learning cool facts. She has taught in an Islamic school setting, has experience assisting children with special needs, and enjoys volunteering and being a part of the community. Miriam lives in Chicago with her beautiful flowering cherry tree and big family.