Pornography consumption is not something that can easily be stopped. Once the appetite for it has developed, it actually increases.
In his 1988 study Pornography Effects: Empirical and Clinical Evidence, Victor Cline, then with the University of Utah's Department of Psychology noted that studies show pornography is progressive and addictive for many. It often leads to the user acting out his fantasy - often on children.
For those who have been trained from a young age to lower their gaze and practice Islamic principles of modesty, this may not even be an issue.
But for those who have sadly fallen into pornography addiction, there is a way out.
Alcoholics' Anonymous is an organization that has fought the battle against alcohol addiction since 1935. Its "Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous" provides a clear, general guide on how to get out of the addiction of alcohol, which has killed people, ruined families and led to health problems.
Sound Vision has adapted the 12 steps from this guide to offer some guidance on how those addicted to pornography can get out of it.
Step One-Admit that you can't give up
Admit that you are unable to get a grip on your consumption of pornography. It is uncontrollable. Every time you turn on the internet, go to the video store, turn on the television, you cannot say NO to yourself. You cannot NOT surf porn sites, or stop watching. You are no longer in control of your life.
Step Two-Admit only God can get you out of this
You know, after trying using so many different ways to control your addiction and subsequently failing, that only Allah can help you out of this. You may have known it before, but you are convinced of it now without a shadow of a doubt.
Step Three-Your life and death are all in Allah's control
You have decided to put your complete trust in Allah, who is in control of all aspects of your life and your death. You have chosen to seek His Help first and foremost.
Step Four-You have completed a self-analysis
You have done an honest, sincere, but often painful self-evaluation of your good points and bad points, analyzed your addiction, and tried to understand how you reached this point.
Step Five-Made a specific repentance to Allah
You have admitted to Allah, to yourself, and to another trusted Muslim (if possible) exactly where you went wrong. You did not make a general request for repentance. You specifically listed your mistakes, and in particular, your addiction to pornography.
Step Six-You were open and ready to receive Allah's help to change
You know that your Tawbah (repentence to God) and being sincere, must be followed by action. You are ready to do what is necessary to change, no matter how difficult or painful. Even if it means not even watching television for the news or never surfing the internet alone.
Step Seven- You have asked for the removal of faults
You have asked Allah, with sincerity, humility and regret, to help you never repeat this action (i.e. looking at pornography) again and to help you avoid repeating sins committed in the past again.
Step Eight-You have decided to seek others' forgiveness
You have made a list of everyone you had hurt through your addiction, whether it was your spouse, children or parents, and made the intention to approach them seeking forgiveness. You must not, however, disclose your addiction since whatever Allah has kept hidden must remain hidden. You just seek forgiveness for any possible act of harm and hurt. Allah does not like a sin to be advertised.
Step Nine-Seek forgiveness of God
Seek the forgiveness and protection of Allah. Do sadaqah (charity) and fast as kaffarah if possible.
Step Ten-You have completed nightly self-evaluations
You continually, every night, have done an honest self-evaluation of your behavior, and were ready to admit your mistakes and thank Allah for the good you did that day.
Step Eleven-You have prayed for greater God-consciousness
You prayed and continue to pray five times a day, seeking closeness to Allah, and a consciousness of Him (Taqwa) wherever you are. You increase your reliance on Him to help you with this addiction to pornography and with all other matters in your life.
Step Twelve-You preached and practiced
You have not just "moved on" after Allah blessed you to get out of this addiction. You helped others you knew with this problem with regular contact and sincere advice. By the grace of Allah, helping others helped you maintain control over your addiction and you helped another person get out of this destruction and misery.
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Salam Brothers. I too am trying to fight this habit. I believe what is lacking for me is the number of PRACTICAL tips. All the articles (and trust me I've looked hard are very general). Some important tips I would recommend are:1. Whenever you feel like you can't help take a shower. Cold is better but a hot one will do. Just get out of the room you are in and into the shower and literally feel like you are washing away the sin.2. Mornings are the worst time for me. I'll get up for Fajr and literally I am on a hiatus until the afternoon trying to occupy my mind with anything and everything so I am not trying to get rid of that tension. My advice, get an exercise bike and ride it until the feeling goes away. When it comes back get back on it.Guilt is a good thing to prevent us from doing bad but punishment is even better. It may come to a point in your life when you ask Allah for help and literally the only thing that will prevent you from masturbating is finding out you are infertile! Don't wait for Allah to force that final card, take matter into your own hands. When you do fall into the sin, what do we do? We feel guilty. Well, Boo Hoo Brothers! Let us be stronger, okay we have done wrong how are we going to prevent it. Ask Allah for help and Punish yourself, do something that you really would not want to do again a 10mile jog (too much), how about 50 pressups, or whatever works Fasting for a number of days.Allah will not 'change a condition of a people until they change themselves'This advice is as much for me as anyone else. I am off to take a shower. Thanks for a great forum!
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Just wanted to shout out to my bro's and sis's who are struggling with what ever monkey(or shayton)they are trying to get of their backs. I have struggled with various addictions. I have, by the grace of Allah, overcome some and also still struggle with some. The interesting thing is that, for me anyway, the addictions seem to be layered. What I mean by that, is one covers another and another. So in the process of overcoming one addiction, I uncover another addiction. I think it's a process of peeling layers until you get to the core issue and then heal that for good inshaAllah. Anyway,inshaAllah, I'll make dua for you all--make dua for me. I can tell you for sure it is possible to overcome anything with the will of Allah. He(swt) tells us to seek His help through patience and prayer. That's the winning formula. I'm telling you from experience. Salaam.
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Hello,My name is Layal Haidari and I am a chase producer at 360 Vision, a current affairs show exploring matters of faith and spirituality on Vision TV, Canada's only multi-faith television network. While researching online i came across this forum and thought I would try getting in touch with Canadians I saw in the forum. I am doing a story on people of faith who suffer from porn addiction and I was hoping to connect with someone to connect with someone who is working to recover from their addictions, or maybe someone who has suffered from addiction to porn, or knows someone who suffers and/or is helping someone to recover. For more information about us check out www.visiontv.ca. I can be reached by phone at 416-368-3194 x607 or by email at lhaidari@visiontv.ca.Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you. I understand that this is a sensitive subject and that it may be hard for people to open up. Either way, I would greatly appreciate if I could hear from you as soon as possible whether or not obtaining this information is possible.Thanks again,LayalLayal HaidariChase Producer360 Vision, Vision TV80 Bond St.Toronto, ONM5B 1X2416-368-3194 x607lhaidari@visontv.ca
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Brothers and sisters, if you have been struggling with giving up addiction to porgnography, or any other addiction for that matter, might I reccomend the use of hypnotherapy as a means of cure. As a student of psychology, I have found in my own research that this is the most effective cure for addiction. The process will take less than fifteen minutes and is guaranteed to work with most people; it worked with myself when nothing else would after so many years of failure.If you do choose to seek out a hypnotherapist, PLEASE make sure you go to someone who is genuinely qualified. Just because they're in the Yellow Pages, it does not mean that they are at all qualified, and improper practice of hypnosis can sometimes have unwanted effects.There's a wealth of information on the internet which you can research, dismissing popular myths about hypnosis and so on.Peace.
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salam brothers and sisters. i am a sex addict myself and have been one for a few years. It all started when i was 14 years old. the fascination has led me to this.I feel that living in a non muslim country and seeing sexual theme being exploited around I thought that this was an interesting thing. I hope that i wouldve stop viewing porn at an early age. however i have realised that negative aspects of this act and i am trying to give this up. May help us all in recovering from sexual addiction and all of us shoul try top give it up. it causes strain on mind and body bcoz U jus strt spending all ur time thinking abt sex. salam
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Salam ou Allikum, There is INTENSE difficulty with trying to quit this rotten, life destroying addiction. Im sick and tired of failing, this takes so very long and its mind numbing. I dont even think quitting cigarettes was this difficult. The 12 step method requires much courage and you need to BEG Allah from the deepest depths of your heart for help and forgiveness. We must keep trying our hardest to vere away from the shaytan. Never give up, fight the oppression of the shaytan the way Allah teaches us to.
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Pornography is addictive. If you purposely start for pleasure, stop. Don't go on the computer. You MUST stop it before it starts. I'm sorry to say that I have intentionally looked up porn, but when I see how deep in people get, it encouraged me to stop. I'm so glad I saw this article in SoundVision or maybe I would have ended up deeper in that I could have imaged.
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Excellent tips to fight this filth. A few things i would like to add:1. Pray Tahajjud. This is EXTREMELY powerful in fighinting one's desires. Get up at 2-3' O'clock and pray 4 or 8 rakahs and make duaa when you are in sajadah for Allah swt says (inregard to this night prayer): Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) said, "Our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, comes every night down on the nearest Heaven to us when the last third of the night remains, saying: "Is there anyone to invoke Me, so that I may respond to invocation? Is there anyone to ask Me, so that I may grant him his request? Is there anyone seeking My forgiveness, so that I may forgive him?" Allah swt is saying ASK ME SO THAT I WILL GIVE YOU!! and with asking comes patience!! Just because you ask Allah swt for a night or two (or maybe even a week) and you still have problems with porn, dont think Allah hasnt heard your prayer or has decided not to answer!! Patience!! It may take weeks, months, and maybe Even YEARS but Allah WILL answer your prayer!! Patience and sincerity (one REALLY REALLY from his heart wants to give this act up) and InshAllah will grant protection from this act. Also, one has to be consistent. One cant just pray night prayer for 3-4 weeks and say "im not seeing any results." Once one starts night prayer he should not stop. Consistency is the Key and Patience and Sincerity are the door which the key fits in!! I'm not saying this from myself, just look at the hadith: Allah swt is himself saying that he will answer your du'aa. and who is more Just than Allah? Who is more truthful to his promise than Allah? None.2. Set up a daily dhikr routine. Write down what words and du'aa's you're going to say and sit down for about 20-40 (more if you like) and say these words, and be consistent. Dhikr is very hard in the beginning. It is very hard to keep your mind free of thoughts and temptations but stick to it and You Will See results InshAllah! Give it a go for at least a month without missing a SINGLE DAY and you will become closer to Allah swt InshAllah.Just wanted to add these two tips as i thought they are extremely powerful in fighting this addiction. I conclude by praising Allah swt and by asking him to guide us all and make us among the Dwellers of Jannatul Firdaus with Rasullullah (saw).
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Pornography addiction plagued me from the age of 12 to the age of 21. I have now, thanks to meditation and prayer - started to cure my addiction; but with a lot of pain and struggle. If you become addicted to lust, it can not only destroy your mind but can actually affect your physical health. I lost so much weight from my addiction, because i would have much more desire for sexual excitement than the basic desire to eat food. I also developed a vascular condition from the emotional damage it caused - mainly because it replaced all my friends and my hobbies and took over my life. Such utter filth like this is a reflection of the sickness that man is in, and that the need to love God in existence (which is woman) is paramount - rather than lust after her selfishly.
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ASslamualaikum, I am still battling with this addiction for a long time, I didn't know there were other Muslims who had the same problem as me, Inshallah Allahswt will reward us if we can put the 12 steps into Practice, It may not be easy, This addiction has caused me such grief and pain that I was ashamed to call myself a Muslim. I ask Allahswt with all his name to shower down his mercy on us and make it easier for us to stop the addiction and shaytaan whispers to committing this act of shame over and over again. Inshallah let's be closer To Allahswt by practicing which is good and prevent what is evil AMEEN.
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